Hi Moms,

I just gave birth 3 months ago and wanted to breastfeed exclusively. I did not have a bottle, pacifier or formula in the house when I brought my baby home. After a couple of weeks, something happened or did not happen. My baby was not gaining enough weight and I found out that I was only producing @6 ounces a day. I worked around the clock with latation consultants to increase the supply - even went on Raglan ( a drug ) with no great results. Oh the guilt...in order for my baby to survive, I had to give him formula. I have been using the SNS from Medela to simulate breastfeeding but I feel so upset that my body cannot do the one thing I always wanted to do was breastfeed.

The way breastfeeding websites are set up, it gives the impression that if you want to breastfeed you can. But this is just the case with me. I desperately wanted to breastfeed - but cannot.

In other words, using formula is a necessity not a choice. Am I the only out there with this problem? Also, the celebrity baby wesites always write about celebrity moms who are breastfeeding ad never mention those who cannot which makes feel in the minority. There has got to be even celebs with the same problem.


Does anyone out there have the same problem? There is no website or online suppport group that addresses this problem. I was post partum depressed because I could not breastfeed.

I just want to know that I am not alone and that it is o.k.

thanks.

I applaud your efforts, fellow Mama! Believe me, you won't fail to give your child best care and food because you are keeping your baby's best interests in mind. And you are not alone in your trouble!!!! I went through this problem and know very well the sense of guilt filling up your heart every time you offer a bottle to your child and watching him to gulp down the formula ounce by ounce and having this feeling that you failed as a mother, that you could not fullfil your primary duty to give your child ´the best´ food....then chocking up with your own tears starting pumping up again in hope it could help to increase milk production... I did come to the point of exclusive breastfeeding after two months of day-and-night pumping and breasfeeding (complementing with formula all that time). However, soon after I had mastitis and had to cease breastfeeding from one side. With only one functional breast left, I had to start complementing with formula again. Now looking retrospectively, I think that all my sense of guilt was unnecessary: I did my best, I gave it a try. And when it failed (partially) I did what was the next best option - combining with formula feeding. The main thing is that my baby was not starved. I still breastfeed him + formula + solids (he is now 7 months old). So, just keep in perspective the wellbeing of your child: exclusive breastfeeding and your child is thriving? - Bravo!! Breastfeeding and giving formula as complement food and your child is thriving? - Bravo!! Formula feeding only and your child is thriving? Bravo!!

You are not alone.

Here is my experience with this, if you are interested:

http://attorneyatmom.blogspot.com/20...-and-i-am.html

Hopefully, more moms will be able to help emilia by posting their own experiences.

However, I had a question for Eje, where you say:
Did you have some complication of mastitis that required you to cease breastfeeding from that side? I ask because in normal mastitis, it's very important that you keep breastfeeding on the infected side, so it doesn't get worse, and gets better faster. Here's some more info:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mom/mastitis.html
That page says, "CAUTION: Do NOT decrease or stop nursing
when you have a plugged duct or mastitis,
as this increases risk of complications (including abscess)."

I don't mean to hijack emilia's thread, I only raise this issue because a lot of moms read these boards, and I don't want anyone to get the wrong information about how to treat mastitis.

I have written about my troubles with mastitis somewhere else before and did not want to repeat myself here. However, I do agree with you about giving right information, especially regarding breastfeeding. So, here is my story in short: I had mastitis for a week or so. I did continue breastfeeding as long as I could from the affected side. Alas, antibiotics did not help (I think I started on them too late) and mastitis developed further into an abscess, which was located precisely under the areola....I was hospitalized for two days where they punctured and drained the abscess. After that I could not breastfeed from that side because of the scar tissue (it was impossible for my baby to latch). I continued pumping from that side for about a month, but the amount of milk I could express per session was not more than 1/4 oz. So I gradually decreased the number and duration of pumping sessions till it fully stopped producing milk on that side.

I am breastfeeding, however had lots of trouble that caused those same feelings. I have alot of scar tissue on my left side and each baby had lots of trouble latching on. In addition to have flat nipples that require extra hard suck to draw out for the milk. My dd, now 4, would not gain and I had to give formula. Someone just shouldve shot me when they said that-the pain was the same. Like someone told me I was the worst mother ever. She did great and thrived on formula but it still hurts. Now with this baby I feel determined to show them..when i got mastitus a few ago I knew it was over, but I made it through. But similar to as before I can not pump-it never works I draw out 2 oz after 15-20 minutes and its just tooooo painful to do more. So when I return to work in Dec I will have to supplement, and often that means they will prefer the bottle more and slowly give up. But why not formula is so easy and fast to a baby, why would he want to suck his little heart out for 30 min when a bottle is done in 5! I dread Dec, but know he will be fine and know I did a great job for the time I could do it. Even if only for 2 weeks the baby will greatly benefit.
Plus we must all be there for each other to remind us-there are a thousand other things we can do to be the best mommies ever, and way way way way worse things besides formula we could give our babies. Just us being concerned shows how much we really care and how great we are!!!
(yes there are plenty of celeb mom who give bottles, notice a few are out in town just weeks after-well that baby is at home with a nanny eating something)

wright1212, I hope this information about inverted nipples is useful to you: http://www.breastfeed-essentials.com...ednipples.html

I'm confused when you say, "I can not pump-it never works I draw out 2 oz after 15-20 minutes." The average baby needs 25 oz of milk a day. If you're pumping every two hours (the recommended schedule, at least until you're sure your milk supply is well-established) then you're producing 24 oz of milk a day, which is almost exactly the amount your baby needs. Even if you're skipping a pumping session or two at night so you can get more sleep, then you're still pretty close to having enough milk. If you're concerned that your supply is low, you don't mention what you've tried to increase your milk supply, like pumping more often (not longer sessions, just more often than every 2 hours) or taking fenugreek.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/milkcalc.html

When you say, "But why not formula is so easy and fast to a baby, why would he want to suck his little heart out for 30 min when a bottle is done in 5!" you're talking about nipple confusion, which is a common problem. There are precautions you can take to prevent it, so it's certainly not guaranteed that your baby will be doomed to nipple confusion:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html

Sorry, I have more to write but baby's fussing.

OK, baby's napping, dinner is simmering, and mom is message boarding.

Rereading emilya's original post, I'm wondering about some things.
This is a very mysterious phrase. What happened, exactly? I'm wondering if some of the emotional suffering you're experiencing is because you didn't get an explanation of what actually happened. Not being able to breastfeed like you wanted is stressful, but not knowing the reason why is extra stressful. Might troubleshooting help at this point?

Were these Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultants? Anyone can print business cards that say "Lactation Consultant" but they may or may not have any credentials. The ones at hospitals are often just regular nurses who've attended a very brief seminar on breastfeeding. Someone told me that at my local hospital, this seminar is actually run and paid for by formula companies. I hope that isn't true, but I wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, I'd hope a real IBCLC would at least have been able to give you an explanation of what the problem was, even if she couldn't help you overcome the problem.

Now I'm confused. Even before you did anything to increase your supply, you were already making 6 oz/day. Not enough, true, but at least something. Presumably, the various things you tried to increase your supply (nursing or pumping at least every 2 hours around-the-clock, taking fenugreek, etc) had at least a little effect, so you were probably producing even more than 6 oz/day at some point. You are not a mom who can't breastfeed! It sounds like you're just a mom who can't breastfeed EXCLUSIVELY, but has to supplement with some formula. If you're looking for company, I'm sure moms in your category are much easier to find than moms who can't breastfeed at all, which really is a very rare minority. You could look for your fellow supplementing moms in the breastfeeding forum, or on the kellymom forum.

I totally get you. I did everything that I could realistically do to increase my milk supply. I talked to the lactation people, my own doctors, my pediatrician, friends, family, etc. I tried pumping more often, longer, different sized attachments. I tried fenugreek. My baby wasn't gaining weight, and we had to start supplementing. It was crushing. I had always taken for granted that I would have no problems breastfeeding.

Five months later and I am still only making the same amount of milk that I was when he was only one month old. It is hard to hear the lactation experts tell you that you can make more milk if you really try.

One thing I found interesting online that no doctor or expert ever thought to bring up to me. A percentage of women diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrom) can not physically produce enough milk. When I found this out on my own I was pretty angry with all of the professionals who failed to mention this.

This took a little of the guilt away from me. I knew that I was doing everything that I could, but this made me feel like I had proof. In the long run I was thankful for the formula that replaced the milk I was trying so desperately to make. My little guy is healthy now, and I am happy with that.