I have been a mom for almost four months now. I love my darling daughter with all my heart. Prior to getting pregnant, I was on Prozac and Xanax. I have always suffered with depression and anxiety, but I didn't start the drugs until the emotional issues really started affecting my everyday life. I was on Prozac daily, but only took the Xanax once or twice a month for the really bad anxiety attacks.

When we decided to try to get pregnant, I went off the meds. I was in a good place emotionally and continued to stay that way throughout the pregnancy. After giving birth, I did experience the "baby blues", but nothing too extreme. However, since my Grandfather's death this past week, I have sunk to the greatest depths of my depression. I have no energy, a flat affect, desperate thoughts and a general sense of hopelessness. I know that I could manage these emotions if I was still on the medications, but I am breast feeding and cannot take them.

My question is: do I quit breast feeding and go back on the medications? I know I would feel terrible doing this since my daughter is only four months old and I've worked really hard to be successful at breast feeding. Or do I see how I'm feeling in a couple of weeks to see if this is just fallout from my family member's death? It would be hard for me to continue on in this state for more than a couple weeks, but I'm willing to try.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Im sorry to hear that. Do you have anyone to talk to about this? I would think that would be the most helpful thing. I think its great that you recognized your change in mood and want to change it.

So first of all, 4 months is a very good amount of time to breastfeed! If you need to stop, dont feel guilty at all! You should be proud of yourself, its a great accomplishment to be able to breastfeed at all, let alone for 4 months! Good job!

I truly believe that the baby would benefit more from a happy mother who uses formula than an unhappy mother who breastfeeds. Your baby picks up on your moods, especially when your breastfeeding.

You should just do what you feel is the right thing. Have you talked to your doctor yet?

Thanks for your concern, NaomiK.

I don't have any friends in the area since we recently moved here. I've looked at counseling, but it's rather expensive. I'm trying to find out if it's covered by our insurance.

I know my baby would benefit more from a happy mom than from breast milk, but I wish I could just provide her with both. Maybe my new doctor will provide me with a solution. I'm going to see her on Friday, and I'm hoping to find a plan that works for me.

I finally talked to my husband about my emotional state, too. I've been scared to do so. I thought he might judge me, or worry about how I handled the baby, or view me as "broken" in some way. He was very supportive, and just wants me to get some help. I feel better knowing that he's on my side.

My dr put me on Prozac (or its generic) and said it's safe while breastfeeding. I did fine and so did my li'l girl. She's 4 now and totally fine. Check with your dr on some meds that are safe while bf'ing. It worked well for me, my libido was affected a bit for a while (no drive!) but gee, wasn't there much with a little baby anyway and with a little work it came back. And the best part was, it was not habit forming. When I felt like I had things in control again, I went off it and have been fine since.

http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/...hale10-02.html

I'm glad your hubby is supportive, mine was (and is) too, and it makes all the difference in the world. Be sure to let him know. He's scared for you and just wants his darlin' honey to be feeling better. If you do have to stop bf'ing, don't beat yourself up, like Naomi said, your baby will benefit much more from a happy mom!

I know everyone deals with meds differently, and definitely may not have the same experiences, but know that there is help out there! You are NOT alone in this! Get yourself outside a little bit every day, call a friend, go to the library. Sending you lots of {{{HUGS}}}

I take Zoloft for depression and anxiety and I still breastfeed. I was ill during my pregnancy so i could only take a quarter of the normal dose, and ive stuck with that. I breastfeed and still take it. I need to take it because if i dont i wouldnt be able to take care of my son properly becuz id be too tired and emotional all the time. So I take a smaller dose, and I pump a couple hours after and supplement with formula. Its not completely known, but doctors think the first few hours after you take a medicine is when you'll have the highest volume in your breastmilk (which could be something like .003 percent). This way I take it, wait about 2 hours or so, pump, give my son formula, and continue breastfeeding the next time. I have to take other meds for asthma too so this gives me peace of mind. But even before i had a pump, for about 3 wks i breastfed him, and he didnt seem to be affected by it. The pharmacist can give you info (or lactation consultant) on some of the signs to watch for in your baby that could be a reaction to the meds, but usually they do fine. And if you dont want to breastfeed while on meds, then four months is a great benefit to your babies immune system. If you need the meds to function then your better off taking them. The most important thing is that baby gets cared for and that you are both healthy. And as long as baby is fed it really doesnt matter if its formula or breastmilk. A fed and cared for baby is a happy baby, regardless of which kind of milk it is. I had to supplement twice a day w/formula becuse of ,my ,meds, and becuz i couldnt keep up with the demands becuz i was previously ill. It doesnt mean your less of a mom or woman. You obviously have put much thought into it and care for your child. Just remember that being able to care for your baby is more important than which milk they get.

Thanks for the support, you guys. I saw my doctor yesterday, and she prescribed me Zoloft and said that I could continue breast feeding while I'm taking it. I'm a little scared to start a new medication, but I'm hoping it will help out.

My doctor also told me that it is common that grief can super-charge your existing depression, so it makes sense that I have been having such extreme emotions lately. She thought it was better for me to respond with medication instead of waiting to see if the grief (and thus the depression) would subside.

Again, I appreciate the support and the feedback. I'll post again about how the Zoloft is going.

Just an update: I've been taking Zoloft for a month now. I do feel a little fuzzy, but things have definitely improved. I'm not having the unwanted thoughts I was experiencing before, and I don't feel so desperate.

The medication absolutely helped me break out of the worst of the depression, making it easier for me to want to go out and be more active, which in turn helped ease the symptoms further. I find myself enjoying my time with my daughter more and more, which is probably the best result of treating my PPD.

I would urge anyone else with problems to talk to your partner and your doctor and consider medication. If anyone wants someone to talk to, please feel free to PM me.

Good to hear that you are doing better. Keep active and see if you can find a mother's group in your area. The interaction with other new moms will really help. Also, try to get some outside time. Just getting the fresh air and sunshine will help you so much too. Good Luck and keep posting.