Need help please!?!?

[sewhite]

I have a 17 month old daughter Elizabeth. I love her to death of course. She ahs started throwing horrible trantrums. First off I am having a terrible time with bedtime. I know that routine is key but I am a working mom who works second shift as a waitress. She doesn't go to bed until 11:30pm already But some nights I am later than that or home just in time. I am trying the best I can but stable routine just doesn't look like it is gonna happen. Anyways in the beginning the doc told me to teach her to fall asleep by herself. Told me I might have to let her cry the first three nights. Not wanting to and forced in to it by my husband to my surprise it worked...for awhile. It seems she'll do well for a couple months then we start back at square one. well we moved so we had to start over because I thought she was having nightmares when a week after we moved she started waking up again crying like the boogey man was taunting her. So we starting going up to her bedroom 30 mins before bed and reading,plus we got her a radio for soothing music while she sleeps, well it worked amazingly...for awhile. She even started bring me her blanket getting on my lap and pointing to the crib when she was ready for bed! For awhile we had even stopped reading because she didn't want to hear it she was ready for bed. Well now we are back to reading but she never seems ready for the crib and it ends every nite with a huge trantrum that completely exhausted her until she can finally be rocked to sleep! I know I ain't prefect and there are a ton of things I should and shouldn't be doing but I am trying and losing and any advice would be a blessing!

[NaomiK]

The cry it out method isnt a one time thing. As heart breaking as it is, many times you have to do it more than once. We started that with my daughter around 9 months old. It worked great, but everyonce in a while she doesnt want to go to sleep and we still have to do it. We do not budge. Even if she cries herself to sleep once in a while. I dont go back in the room and rock her. Its bedtime. Period. Dont let her "manipulate" you. If she knows she will get her way by crying she will continue. As far as the fits, the same thing applies. Its not acceptable. Period. Pick a discipline method and stick to it. If you are doing time out or whatever, make sure you are consistent with it. Do not give into her when she is having a tantrum. Usually what I do is ask her "I see your upset, do you need to go to bed for a while to calm down?" That usually stops it. But if it doesnt I will tell her again "do you want to go to bed" and she will say no but if it doesnt stop after 3 times, I put her in bed for a minute (or until she calms down). You have to fallow through.

[hardworkinmama]

My question is why is she up until 1130pm? I get that you work second shift (I work midnights) but that doesn't mean that she needs to stay up til you get home. Your husband (or whomever is taking care of her while you are at work) should be doing the bedtime routine at an appropriate bedtime. I personally think for that age 8pm is a good bedtime. My son's bedtime is 8pm sharp everynight regardless of who is taking care of him. I work 4 nights a week from 8pm to 6am. Two of those nights he stays at my parents and they do the bedtime routine. The other two nights my husband does it and on my three off nights I do it. The routine is the same everynight so that my son will know that bedtime is coming. Our routine is as follows:
730pm--bath, after bath it's into pjs, then brush teeth, read a story, give hugs/kisses, and into bed by 8pm. Some nights he doesn't fall asleep right away but he stays in his crib and we do not go in. Some nights he just isn't ready to go to sleep and he will cry, but as long as he isn't hurt, we let him cry. The key is that the routine is the same no matter who the caregiver is.
Good luck and I hope this helps.