havent had sex in a year and half

[kateambers123]

hi ever since i became preg i stopped having sex and its been 1.5 year already. i had a bad 3rd degree tear and also an Episiotomy during child birth. we tried having sex but it hurt so bad. its been too long already but the thought of sex is just so fearful to me. anyone have any advice to give out? thanks. and how long did u wait before having sex?

[H.Starr]

I waited exactly the six weeks the dr told me to.
I wanted to wait longer, but my husband was leaving three days after that and was going to be gone for two and a half months, so I gave in.

Basically, its probably (definitely) going to hurt and be uncomfortable, like the first time all over again. All I can suggest is use a lot of lube and go slow. And just keep reminding yourself how good it will be again after the first couple times.

[moonemaiden]

I had 4th degree tearing and over 200 stitches when I had my daughter. We waited about 10 months before even attempting to have sex. When we did, it was painful. I agree with H. Starr's advice. Take it slow and remember that it will get better with time.

To make things easier, don't make sex the headline show. Cuddling, other forms of intimacy, whatever is important to you and your partner; put emphasis on those things and the sex as a kind of secondary thought. It may sound odd, but it worked for us.

[angel25705]

Deleting all of my posts because of the sicko wanting pictures of our kids.

[tnshsms]

My daughter is 11 months old and we've only had sex 3 times. I had a 3 degreee tear as well and she didn't sleep through the night until 9 months old so not only was I scared because of the tear, I valued any sleep I could get since I'm a working mom! Other than taking it slow and using a lot of lube like the previous girls said, I don't have anything other advice. I just wanted to let you know that you weren't alone.

[NaomiK]

I waited six weeks, but I only had a few stiches. My problem was, my stiches didnt heal right and I got a skin tag. It was like a raw piece of skin between my stiches. I couldnt use the restroom without pain and forget sex. I knew I was supposed to be sore after childbirth so I thought maybe it was normal. I didnt realize it was because of a skin tag until I peed and started bleeding! Maybe TMI, but I was so scared to have sex for the longest time. After they removed the tag, it gradually became easier for me. I suggest alot of lube, I second the suggestion to have a glass of wine too. It makes it much more painful if you are not relaxed. Also, there were only certain positions I could comfortably have sex in for the longest time. I couldnt even handle missionary. My daughter is 18 months and I am fine now. I do suggest getting a babysitter though, so you dont have to worry about the baby waking up or rushing. Take it VERY slow. And explain to him everything you are feeling so he can try and make you more comfortable. I had to tell my husband where the pressure was and he was able to relieve it easier than I could. And make it known that he should not expect much. It is very possible that you could stop him. Have you talked to your doctor about it as well?

[kateambers123]

Thanks guys! i have not talked to my doctor yet but will make an appt to come back to see if everything is okay down there. When i came in like 6 weeks after giving birth, the doctor said i was healing properly and that everything is fine. I always tense up when i think about sex or when we attempted sex because it really hurts alot.

On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the most paiinful, how painful was sex first time again for you ladies??

[j-love]

We waited 4 weeks. I would suggest the same as the other ladies...lots of lube and go slow. Also, to help you not be so tense, try having an alcoholic beverage or two...

[NaomiK]

I was healing correctly at my 6 week checkup too. I told her I was still a little sore and she said that was normal. It wasnt until I figured out that it was just one little place down there that hurt more than the rest that I went back and they removed the skin tag. So you never know. On a scale of 1-10....after childbirth? lol. No but really I would say like a 4 for me. Sex is so important so please go see your doctor! Let us know what happens

[angel25705]

Deleting all of my posts because of the sicko wanting pictures of our kids.