Should I change my daughters name?

[mamaupchurch]

We picked out our daughters name 5 years ago when we were pregnant (it resulted in a miscarriage). When we got pregnant last year we decided that we were going to keep the name bc we liked it and no one else in the family had it.

We later find out before I was due that it was my husbands very admired deceased grandfathers middle name. This sealed the deal for us.

After my daughter was born my husband found his grandfathers birth certificate... his middle name was similar but not the same AT ALL! We had been lied to. A few months went by and we found out that my husbands nephew (adopted by his brother, from dh sister-in-laws first marriage) had just also had a little girl and they also named her the same as our daughter. Their daughter was born approx 2 months before ours and they do spell it differently but we wanted her to be the only one in the family.

I am just beside myself with dispair. I have one year from her date of birth to change it and I am seriously contemplating this because I rather her have a special name and not be just another same named grandchild.

[JMJ10]

How old is your daughter?

[brandie1127]

Absolutely not! Do not change that babys name. It was special to you when you picked it out it should still be special to you today. It sucks that someone else named their baby that too - but realisticly that has nothing to do with you. The only time it will matter is when you are around family - so what are we talking here - Christmas and Easter? My mom changed my brothers name when he was 1 - its annoying I never know what to call him - he never knows what to call himself. Its like multiple identities.

[RImommy]

I'm with Brandie, I don't think you should change her name. You decided on the name before you found out it was the grandfather's name (or thought it was) and you didn't learn about the other baby having the same name for what sounds like atleast 6 months - so I'm guessing you aren't very close and won't be spending time together so as to cause confusion. There are other people in the world with the same name, it is inevitable... but the name was special to you, and it is now her identity.

[Bec caV]

Well... personally I would think that if it's that meaningful then you should keep it. Other people, even family, shouldn't matter. My son and my brother in law have the same name (both named after my husband's father who died before we met) and it has never been a point with us. Granted, my BIL is about 50 years older than my son, but there's never been bitterness over it, the important part is they were both named after someone that was loved and special. (It also used to be quite common for children to be named after a matriarch or patriarch of the family, so you'd see quite a few cousins and second cousins, uncles and aunts named the same thing)

[mamaupchurch]

JmJ -

My daughter is 9 months old.

I understand and agree with alot of what you ladies are saying but it just kills me everytime someone mentions it. (It's usually DH parents and his brothers). I feel like I was robbed of my special name for our daughter!

[carrieeebaby]

I definitely understand where you're coming from, especially since the other little girl was born before yours. I can't even imagine your disappointment, but I agree with everyone else. The name was special to you. Keep it. Plus, kids are funny about things. A friend of mine had his name changed as a kid, and he still talks about it and about how he likes the other name better. Just keep it, you loved it once, you'll love it again.

[nkrumpfer]

I wouldn't change her name. You can call her by her middle name or a nickname.

[bluegrassmom]

I have the same problem x 2 actually. My mom's brother, Cameron, when he was 14 and I've always wanted to name one of my sons after him or at least use his name for a middle name for one of my boys. But my sister-in-law had a baby girl last year and named her daughter Cameron, spelled the same way and everything (she said it was a girl's name because she had never heard of any boys named that. I personally know of 4 under the age of 5 with the same spelling!) That was after she and I had had a discussion about names while she was pregnant and I brought up that I planned to name one of my sons Cameron after my deceased uncle! We live in the same town as them and see them several times a week so I definitely can't use that name now. My mom was crushed and hurt because to her, it was like they were messing with the memory of her brother (whom she idolized) by giving his name to a girl. I'm upset because now I can't use it for one my boys to memorialize my uncle. If it were up to me, I would still use it for a middle name, but my husband says absolutely NOT.
Also, I was planning to name my next girl Amelia, but my husband's cousin and his wife recently lost a full-term baby girl and named her Emilia. I'm afraid to use the name now because I know the mom is having an incredibly hard time dealing with it and we see them several times a year at reunions. I don't know how she would handle hearing the name and I don't want to hurt her more than she's already been hurt.
And I wouldn't change your little girl's name. If nothing else, you could give her a nickname or something. How often do you see them anyways?