dh and i didn't think about sex untill byron was about 3 month. he worked all day and i was up all night. now byrons 18 month i still dread it, he's trim and slim and i'm still fat. oh well. like the other ladies said just try it. maybe a nice massage with some heated oil to start.
i swear my biggest turn on in the beginning was a foot rub.
I had the same problem, however I had a C-Section that did not heal so well...so I had a few extra weeks to put it off. Even though I didn't feel like I did pre-pregnancy and baby , my hubby's "desire" for ME made it a little bit easier...that and like a few others have said, Wine...not too much, just enough to relax. If your really not ready, just tell him... all the emmotions floating around are hard to get a grip on .. he will probably understand, dissapointed maybe.
Okay i'm about 2 months postpartum but i seriously don't see myself dreading it for a whole year. I'm with the wine and pussycat dolls girl, it's all in the mindset. Maybe if we stop thinking of it as something to please them and remember that we need to get ours too!!! I'm really self conscious of my new tummy especially with my stretch marks, so i'm gonna try and wear a sexy teddy that covers it the first time.... Hello again sex life, here i come! No pun intended haha
Yeah, my son just turned a year old. When the baby goes down and daddy wants some action, all I can think of is "I'm tired"! But recently we've been turning on soothing music and a foot massage which helps. Once we begin I remember how nice it is... but it's just getting in the mood that's tough. Deff while you have a one year old running around, sex is the last thing on your mind.
my daughter is now 14 months and i wouldn't mind doing it more often. don't feel too guilty. but give it a chance because it's good for your marriage. if you can afford it, find a sitter and include it with a nice date night so that there's great food and conversation to boot. Try using gels. My body took almost a year to get back into the swing of things and we both had good laughs trying aids. but yes, i felt the same way you did until about three months ago. As my daughter is becoming more self sufficient and no longer breast feeding, I am gaining my energy back and also loosing the anti-sex feelings. perhaps it's hormonally related.
Before having our daughter I was a bit of a prude. Porn, gross, blow jobs ick. I am happy and quite satisfied with a good ole romp missionary style anything else he will have to nag and I would usually give in reluctantly.... depending. LOL.
Here's the deal a blow job is a lot less painful and less work for you. You can even spice it up by letting him watch a porn while you do it. This use to bother me.. A LOT, but it makes him happy and like I said painless and less work for me. We will try to have sex once a week and I try to give it my best, but even 6 months after birth it still does not feel the same.
I would say try to put in some effort to please him, it's not easy but it's importaint.
I feel the exact same way. I have a 4 yr. old and a 8 month old and I'm trying to figure out a way to explain to my husband that its hard for me to switch from "Mommy Mode" to "Sexy Wife Mode". It's not as easy as flipping a switch. I can't put my kids to bed and 5 minutes later be the hot wife. Especially when I feel very fat and unsexy. I think a foot massage or something like that to get me in the mood would help. Anyone out there have other ideas?
It's definitely not as easy as flipping a switch. I remember that after my younger son (now in sixth grade already!) was born, I was rarely in the mood. I've found that massages, lotion, eating a light dinner to avoid bloating, and doing some exercise during the day helps immensely when the night rolls around. Maybe something with getting the heart rate increasing earlier in the day with exercise helps...
There are other things you can do so that you both are satisified. My hub enjoyed a nice (sensual) massage, that way I'm touching him and he's not touching me