So I'm about five weeks postpartum, and all my husband is talking about is how excited he is that we can start having sex soon. But I'm absolutely DREADING it. I'm still sore from delivery, plus I feel totally un-sexy - my body is completely different (don't even get me started), plus emotionally I feel... different. It's hard to explain - it's like I'm a mommy now, not a sex object. In any case, I don't think I'll be ready for sex next week, or the week after that. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you explain it to your significant other?
I felt that way for a good year. I was huge, saggy, and sooo exhausted. I pretty much told the husband I was not into it- and I was going to need a lot longer to recoup. He kind of understood- but it was hard for him. I asked him if he would rather I do it because I felt bad or if he would prefer sex if I was really into it to. That gave him something to think about. Now he makes sure I'm "in the mood" too. Good luck! And remember, everybody's body is different and recovers at a different pace. Just because your dr gives you the green light doesn't mean you have to be ready for it.
Mom of twin girls, age 3, and a new baby boy born in January!
I also had to explain (multiple times) to my husband that i was 'touched out' with dd due to the breastfeeding. I caved and did the deed, but wasn't into it for over a year. This time around, it wasn't a problem but my husband kind of knew what to expect, so he didn't push it and it has made all the difference (IMO). You are so not alone it this
Watch your language
Ask me about INTACTIVISM
I was dreading it too, until that third glass of wine. It helped alot!!
And, listening to the Pussy Cat Dolls helps too along with that wine ;o)
I still dread it and my kids are 5 and 3. Its just because i am so busy between running 2 business's and being a SAHM. I have 2 kids attached to me all day long. I am emotionally drained by the end of the day. I dont want to be touched and i dont want to touch. Wine does help!
Been there done that! And i will tell you he probably wont understand no matter how hard you try to explain it. But what you feel wont go away very quickly so think of it this way: You are beautiful and yes your body is different now but look what it just created in the last 9 months. And before long it will be back to normal. Just love your NEW-MOM-CURVES.
I am 9 weeks post baby and just went through this. I was also not so into it, and mostly afraid of it being painful. It is still somewhat painful but not really terrible. I do it anyway because I think that for our relationship it is important and even though I am not so into it I am also not so NOT into it (how is that for a lot of double negatives). But, I think that many women enjoy the "sex vacation" and are not so ready for it to end. You are in good company.
Dont worry, you are def not alone! My daughter is almost 2 and we just started getting back into the swing of things a few months ago. My advice, try it! Make sure you tell him before hand to be prepared to stop if it hurts. Tell him you have no idea how you are going to feel about it and you need him to be sensitive to that. I have learned that if I just do it a couple times, I start remembering why I liked it in the first place Of course, I fought with it for a year before I finally gave into the idea that I like it too. Its hard to get back into it when you have been "out of commission" so to speak. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Just look at some of the other posts here. Some havent had sex in over a year!
I think we all dreaded it the first couple times. Maybe try some KY - it may help.
Loud mom of 2 loud boys ages 10 & 7.