OMG.i dont even know what to say! i had my son when i was 23 and married, and people told me that i was young! i couldnt even imagine being 13 and having a baby! at that age you are oblivious to the world! you prolly just started really taking care of yourself and making some of your own choices! just make sure if you do not end up giving him up for adoption you take REALLY good care of that baby, and just know your social life is pretty much done, your life from here on out is that baby!!!!!!!!
and i know someone else already said it but KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED!!!!!
Let me start by saying that if you truely do decide to keep this baby; we as a community will be here to answer questions, and be supportive, as long as you be a mother.
When my son was a newborn this was my day:
9AM Feeding and changing
11AM feeding and changing
11AM-12PM Talking to, and bonding with my baby
1PM Feeding and changing
Wash clothes for baby
3PM Feeding and changing
3PM-5PM Rocking, walking the floor, and cuddling cranky colicky gassy baby
5PM Feeding and changing
Wash bottles for baby
7PM Feeding and changing
9PM Feeding and changing
9PM-11PM Talking to, and bonding with my baby
11PM Feeing and changing
1AM Feeding and changing
3AM Feeding and changing
5AM Feeding and changing
5AM-7AM Rocking, walking the floor, cuddling cranky colicky gassy baby
7AM Feeding and changing
9AM Feeding and changing
This schedule changes month to month getting much more complex as he grows.
Now don't forget that he's going to have pediatrition appointments:
1 week old
1 month old
2 months old
4 months old
6 months old
9 months old
12 months old
15 months old
18 months old
2 years old
Don't forget to throw in a few sick visits with vomitting, fevered baby, and that's just the first year. Children get sick 4-6 times a year.
Don't forget to shop for the baby once a week. The average middle-class family spent about $10,220 on a baby during the first year of life. That was in 2005; prices have gone way up since then, and I don't think that's including the cost of medical care.
Have I scared you yet? Lets not forget that you are 13. Are you prepared to go to school, and do homework on no sleep? Gee, I hope you aren't in any extra curriculars.
Give up your life; is an understatement. DEVOTE you life sounds more accurate; for the next EIGHTEEN YEARS.
Can you do it? I don't know; you tell me. Sweetie I'm not trying to be mean; I just want you to see the reallity of what you are facing. So many teenagers these days see having a baby as fun when having a baby is hard work. It's midnight feedings, smelling like spit up, getting peed on, sticking your hand in poop, scrubbing puke off the floor, and being so exhausted you just wanna cry. Do yourself and this little life a favor, and find a couple who are desperate for a baby they can't have........
"Our best successes often come after our greatest disappointments" -Henry Ward Beecher
Hey there tinymommy!
First of all, I'm not here to say anything harsh or mean to you because after all, this is your life and decision to make-although i must say, a VERY serious decision to make. I am 20 years old and I had my daughter at 19. SHe is now almost 8 months old and although I absolutely love motherhood and being one to her, doesnt mean that it is easy. I'm not in school and I don't have a social life either. The first month was hard, she ate every 2 hours, and thats througout the night too. 1AM, 3AM, 5AM, i never got a break. and in between those feedings was alot of fussiness and crying. There were alot of times when i wanted to give up because it wasnt what i had expected. I did what you did too, read all the baby magazines, went on websites, did my research but lemme tell ya, when you have the actual baby in your hands in your home, all those things you read from the magazines and research really just goes out the window and its nothing like what you've researched. I'm not gonna say that having a baby at a young age is the worst thing ever because it wasn't too bad since i was 19 and was a little more mentally mature and was finished with highschool. You are 13 and still have a long way ahead of you. It is going to be extra extra harder since your mom isnt going to support you and having your boyfriends support isnt going to be enough to get through those long days and nights with school to think about. I wanna say to go with adoption since your parents arent supporting you on this one and being 13, you still have so much going for you. But if you really feel like you are ready to make this life long commitment and be a mother at 13 and have to give up everything to devote your life to this little one, then that is your decision to make. Good luck though and just stay strong.
hugs mama, because, yes, you are a mama. You're in an unfortunate situation & you're trying to do your best. Your Mom is also doing HER best to be a mom to you. She isn't asking you to adopt out your baby because she wants to see her grandson go out the door, she's trying to help her baby make the right choice. PP aren't lying when they say parenting is hard. It is the HARDEST thing you will ever do. We will be here if you are actually going to parent, but honestly, even at a mature 13, you're SO YOUNG to go through this.
here's a site on teen pregnancy & support. HTH.
Watch your language
Ask me about INTACTIVISM
I dont feel like a 13 year old girl can raise a baby. Its A LOT of work. I remember Tyra had some 13, 14 year old girls on her show one day that wanted to have babies. I just cant understand why at such a young age would you want to have a baby. I think it has to do with wanting to be loved. Any way, I know that I would never have been able to raise a baby when I was 13. At that age you are so self-absorbed and immature to be a babies everything. Just as other women have said, it really is about devotion. And to be honest, it takes a lot more than love to raise a baby. It is hard work and stressful. What ever your decision is I wish you the best of luck but I think you should think about every aspect of this before making any final decisions. Try to think what will be best for the baby.
Mommy to Coby 1.4.08
baby Kaylie due 3-26-10
You have to think what would be best for the baby. You have to make a decision without been selfish. Will the baby have the best life with you? Get everything he needs emotionally and financially? Its a fact that most boyfriends crumple and are not very good with babies, heck most mature husband's can't cope. So, if you do keep this baby just be aware it will be you taking care of the baby full time 24 hours a day. The other posts may seem hard, but its all true you will get hardly any sleep, maybe not even have time for a shower or even to eat properly. Forget having friends there is no time. Just remember you only get one chance at been a teenager/young adult do you really want to spend it all on a baby? Think of what would be right for the baby try not to be selfish and set him free to be adopted. Adoption is really something you should look into speak with a counsellor, no one is saying you have to do it, but at least investigate into it, before saying no. I was adopted and I have great parents and I have also made contact with my biological family too. Speak with other teenage Mum's and see what they have to say about been a young Mum. Good luck whatever you decide.
Well?? I wanna hear from you tinymommy
I was 16 when i got pregnant but hang in there you will get through it i promise.
i really have weighed this decision out as much as humanly possible. and as much as you guys want me to adopt out....i dont think that i can. i love my son sooo much. and i know that i can get through this. i am working at a recycling center and i have been saving up money to get a car since i was 11. that can all go towards my baby. i really liked what cay said...because that is what i am mentally trying to prepare myself for. luckily, i am an insomniac anyways, lol. thanks for the advice, good or bad. i know that no one thinks that i can do it, but i know that i can.
also, my boyfriend is 16 and can drive, in case you all were wondering about how i would get back and forth. i will also get my permit at 14.
Last edited by tinymommy; 05-05-2009 at 12:04 AM.
okay. I am no person to judge you...
but just wanted to let you know some things. Being 13yrs old, you are going to need alot of help. You are still a young girl who is still being raised by parents!! I just feel sorry for this little boy who is going to be in this chaotic position his whole life. How are you going to go to school?? I mean, I feel sorry for you too tinymommy. Your life is gone. Theres so many things I still wanted to do with my life at the age of 13. And if your a mother, you wont get a chance to live your life
I'm sorry. I wish you the best in your parenthood.
I hope you are making the right choice in this situation