Ex partner now tells me shes pregnant

[happyhammer]

Hiya all

I recently split from my girlfriend, shes now informed me that she's 6 weeks pregnant. Shes 38 and I'm 46, I've no children and never wanted any, on top of this I've just lost my job ! She simply can't understand why I'd not want her to continue with the pregnancy, she thinks once shes had the baby I'll change my mind and go back to her, I've tried to talk to her and explain that it just won't happen. The pregnancy was totaly unplannned and we'd never talked about it, I'm at a total loss to undrstand why she'd want to go on with it. She already has 2 children, shes told me to walk away and not have anything to do with it but I know that I've a responsibilty to do the right thing. I ended the relationship because I simply didn't love her, how can I play an active role in the childs life if I no feelings for the mother, will I ever bond with an unplanned child. I'm at a total loss as to what too do, it seems I'm being fored into something that I don't want at my time of life, has anybody else been in this horrible situation, can anybody offer any advce ..

Many thanks

[cay8099]

Just one question: Did you use protection? Be honest here it will help me give better advice.

[cay8099]

Ok, here's my answer whether you used protection or not.

Be responsible. You had sex. Sex can result in a baby. If you paid attention in health class you know this. Knowing that no kind of protection is 100% garaunteed (not even a vasectomy or a tubal ligation is garaunteed) be responsible. Whether you want kids or not, chances are that once this kid comes out and you get a look at this little creature that is half you; you will love it.

If you do not want anymore more kids in the future get yourself a vasectomy.

[Willbearsmom]

Irishmom you said it perfectly! I agree 100%. Especially with the man up! If you are man enough to have sex, make sure you are man enough to take care of a kid!

[charliesmommy]

If you're 46 and never wanted kids, why have you not a vasecomy yet??????

My ex best friend is childfree and has no feelings towards babies let alone unborn ones. So, I do understand your lack of feelings for the unborn child a little. But, you have to also see that you can't expect a mother of 2 to just terminate her third child.

That said, if you don't want to be a part of the kids life, that's fine. Quite frankly someone like you who doesn't want to be a father would make a crappy one anyway. But, you were obviously irresponsible (46 doesn't want kids and can still have them????) and at 46 you should know that if you don't take precautions you have to pay the price. So, you at the very least need to help financially.

[H.Starr]

My first question is, Are you sure she's pregnant? Or is she just telling you that as a ploy to get you to come back to her? Women are conniving. Just be sure its true, then be sure its yours. If the answers are yes and yes, you need to take responsibility for your actions.

[CarolinesMama]

I feel sorry for people who dont want children. I know its ur right but you are missing out on so much. Being a parent really teaches us how to truly love. It is the best thing in life!!!! It is truly unconditional love. If this baby is really yours then you will see what i mean!!! It will be love at first sight!!!! It was for my husband and I. Our baby was "unplanned". And we were not ready for her financially. But we have made it this far and she has never gone w/o. Plus my husband lost his job and couldnt find another one for 3 months!! And we still made it!!! Where there is a will... there is a way!!!! Hang on tight papa bear... your life is about to change... in such an amazing way!!!!!!!!!

[Shqiptar]

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[cay8099]

IrishMom. I agree that if the dad says they want nothing to do with the child then what you stated is true. Yet, what if the pregnancy is an accident and the dad wants the child but the wife wants to abort it?

I agree, that would be the father's child too, but they don't have any rules protecting the father's rights in this situation. In the end it is her decision; is it fair? NO, but that's the way it is. I'll tell you this though; he could probably sue her for it.........you can sue anyone for anything these days, and it all started with McD's, a woman, and a cup of hot coffee.

[Shqiptar]

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