i dont know if this is normal or not but i just feel like i am still completely new to this mother thing and its to the point where i refuse to go back to work or school anytime soon all because i want to watch my baby do everything. I dont want to miss a thing, his first steps, words, first time crawling or sitting.
I feel like i just want to spend every moment i can with him. I just absolutely LOVE being a mother especially to him.
Dont get me wrong, I TOTALLY admire mothers that work or go to school or do BOTH. Education is definitely important and in the long run itll benefit you and your child. And as far as working, bills need to be paid, babies are expensive so u gotta do what u gotta do. I understand that and i have alot of respect for mothers that can do that. But for me, i find it so hard to do neither because i know that he's not going to be a baby forever and this is my first child , and who knows if i'll ever have another one so i dont wanna look back one day and regret not spending enough time with him as i wish i had.
any mothers here feel the same way? especially the young mothers that still have school to think about?
Oh that's completely normal...
I was supposed to go back to work after a month (that's all my employer would let me have was a month) and we decided I would stay home. Logically, the reasons were that day care was going to be taking most of my paycheck plus we only have one car and my husband's job isn't on the bus lines (mine was... sort of) but it was setting up to be a scheduling nightmare.
My husband left the decision up to me, I really did feel I should work and contribute to the income (even if it was just $100 every two weeks after all that would be taken from my check), but... I kept trying to convince myself to go back, but I kept looking at my little munchkin and thinking "I don't wanna miss everything!".
So officially we say there was no point in working because I didn't make enough money to make it worthwhile, unofficially it's because they grow up so fast that you easily can miss the important things only to never get them back... so I stayed home and am constantly amazed by watching my child grow.
Problem is I feel bad my husband is missing it
John-Gabriel Richard~ Born 12-14-2008
Lucas Michael- Born 07-16-2010
I know what you mean about not wanting to go back to work. After I had my son, I cried the first day that I had to go back because I was going to miss bedtime and I didn't want to be away from him. My husband and I talked about it and I quit the next day to stay at home and focus on my son and classes (he went with me to all, but one class).
It was great for me to stay home for a while, but I eventually had to send my little man to daycare so that I could student teach. But now he LOVES daycare and I have a great 8-5 job so that I can still spend time with him in the mornings before work and evenings before bed. I think it would be a much harder thing to deal with if he cried everyday when he gets dropped off, but we were lucky enough to find a great daycare provider who my son adores.
I am in the same boat. Im 20 and had my daugher when i was 19. She is 8 months old and i still havent gotten a job. I had to quit my job when i found out i was pregnant because i was having a lot of trouble and my OBGYN thought i was at risk of having a miscarriage (I have PCOS so i was told that i was infertile when i was like 15, so my daughter is my miracle). And i didnt want to take that risk. And after she was born i decided i liked being with her more. And watching her grow and to be honest, didnt see the point of paying someone most of my paycheck to watch my child grow up. So i decided i wanted to stay home, at least until my daughter starts school. I also am wanting to go to college tho, but i am going to wait on that until my baby girl is around 3 or 4 years old. My husband works, and the bills are paid and our daughter has what she needs and some of what she wants. So i am ok with that. for now. But being a stay at home mom. to me, IS a full time job we just dont get paid for. The house has to be cleaned, laundry done and on top of that taking care of a whiney infant who wants nothing more than to be held 24/7. It is stressful to me. I dont get to get out very much, and sometimes i do get overwhelmed and wish i did have a job so that way i didnt have to be at home so much or be with my daughter 24/7 (lets be honest, we all need a break every now and then) My daughther stays with some of my family or in laws probably twice or 3 times a month unless something comes up. And i enjoy the time to myself. I regret my decision sometimes, but then again, my daughter loves me more than anyone, she reaches for me, gives me kisses and hates being away from me. We have a special bond which i dont think that we would have if i was working. Some mothers can do that and i respect that a lot. But to me, thats just to much to take on, working, school, and a household to run. To much stress for me. Being a mother is great & wouldnt take it back for anything in the world. Welcome to motherhood You now will be worrying and taking care of someone the rest of your life.
I work at night so my rule is it didn't happen for the first time untill I saw it..Because i can't be there every second. But i know how you feel your first baby is always special....N in the blink of n eye my sons now 2. It went by sooo fast
I can totally relate, I got laid off from my job when I was pregnant and my fiance and I decided that I would just wait until our baby was born before I would look for a job. Ya know, all through my pregnancy I was always saying I wish I had a job and all, but now that she is here, I want to have a job and have a little more money, but it breaks my heart to leave for long enough to go to the store, I cant imagin leaving 8 hours a day. Also, I have a fear of bad baby sitters, I definantly dont want to put her into daycare or leave her with someone until she can talk to tell me if someone is hurting or mistreating her.
Oh, I understand you so much! My toddler is 18 month old now and I'm expecting another one. naturally i'll have to go to the hospital for 3-4 days and this is sooo painfull for me to leave his. what's more, i realize he will miss me badly. i just hope this won'y cause any psycological or other problems to him. i even feel somehow guilty that i'll have to leave him for some time.
I think it is normal as I have a 4 year old and a almost 20 month old. I will leave them occasionally with my mom so hubby and me can have a special date night but those are few and far between (usually for things like valentine's day or our anniversary). Also, I have started leaving them twice a week for two hours to attend college. It is really hard some mornings but its a lot easier as they are being cared for by their daddy, not a babysitter or day care. Otherwise even if I have the opportinuty to go out with friends or whatever, even if they are asleep, I don't want to go. I like to be there for the nightly routine before bedtime and it makes me sad to miss it, even once. LOL. So, I guess it is normal since so many of us have gone through this feeling. And Alisha77, your son will be okay...when I had my son, my daughter was fine. I was so bad though as I didn't want her to be cared for by somebody else longer than normal so I had my hubby go home to be with her the night I stayed at the hospital instead of him staying with baby and me. I felt more comfortable with her being with a parent as she had already stayed with a close friend while I was in labor and the hours following delivery. But she did well...the hardest part was when she came to visit me and her new brother and then she wasn't allowed to stay but I still had to stay the night...I could hear her crying all down the hallway and to the elevator....I sat there in the rocking chair holding my newborn in tears, but my husband said she did okay that night and the next morning they came to the hospital and I was released with baby later that afternoon. I had a vaginal birth though and was only in the hospital 24 hours after giving birth.