Chaos when Daddy is home??

[sherriann]

My husband is a wonderful father to my 15 month old son. On the weekends is when he gets to spend the most time with our son bc he works long hours during the week. During the week my son and I have a good little schedule with little fussing. We just go about our days and I can expect how and when he is going to react to most things. HOWEVER, on the weekend when daddy is home (which is a great thing) my son seems to fall into a bundle of fuss and choas. Is this normal? I kow that toddlers crave and thrive on routine, so is having my husband home possibly causing this much upheaval?

[Bec caV]

It's possible, even if your husband sticks with your son's schedule, having him around throws things off. That's fairly normal, it's a change and your son is having to adjust to it every week. I wouldn't worry about it too much though.

[cay8099]

Actually, if you think about it, ahving daddy home on the weekends is your routine. I'd say there is upheaval because daddy, while being physically strong, is an emotional bag of mush easily wrapped around little fingers. It's true for most men.

[ashley.gardner]

When I had this same issue... I just explained to my husband that when you are home there is a huge difference in the way the boys act. And would go on describing issues. To his knowledge, he didn't really recognize what was going on, obviously, because he wasn't around during the other days.

Once he was aware, he was game for keeping things as normal as when he was at work... "following the rules" and not allowing certain behavior. Our days got so much better, and flowed which actually made dad's time much more pleasurable as well.

[RGladson]

This is also how my kids react when my husband is home. It can get totally nuts here! I have a 19 month old and a 4 month old, and my husband is an OTR truck driver. This means he's gone for weeks at a time and sometimes we only see him for 24-48 hours at a time, that includes sleeping hours.
I LOVE to have him home as much as his job allows him to be, but sometimes it seems easier to do everything my way and on my own...even when he's here. He tries to help on when and where he can, but a lot of times it doesn't go so smoothly just because the kids are so used to him being gone. Sad, I know. But we're surviving. I think it will be easier for them to understand and control their craziness when they get older...hopefully. *fingers crossed*

:P

[Kobie137]

My dd is almost 7months, and we have similiar issues on the weekends when Daddy is home. Interesting to know, this will likely not get any better as she gets older.
With us, it is likely because Daddy does not know how to be quiet.
He thinks he is being quiet, but he's not, and always wakes her up from her naps.
We love him like crazy, but really, can you not slam a door when the baby is sleeping!

[Mikey_BKK]

In my experience that is perfectly normal. I hear most my friends wives talk about how different the kid is when “Daddy is home” (mainly weekends…). Idea is like a different person when she is with me, compared to how she is when she is with her mother. Mummy is not working and I am so I can’t see how it could be any different really
-
Michael
Father of Idea, the good idea

[cassmaddie]

Things are normal for Madison and me all day. When he comes home we have to incorporate him into our routine and Madison gets fussy. He immediately thinks she is hungry and I know for a fact that is not always the case. He tries to help out so much and we appreciate it. It just makes things more difficult.

[jbaxter80]

I have a similar situation, being the father in the previous situation. I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old, and my wife and I work opposite shifts (I work second shift, she is an 8-5er). During the morning hours, the kids are fine with me, I have no real issues and our routine, while it may vary some, is something the kids seem to enjoy. Same goes at night when my wife has them, they eat, play, get a bath and go to bed with little to no trouble. But the weekends are a totally different story, at least for my 2 year old - he rarely takes his after lunch nap (he has been on a one nap schedule for over a year with no issues), and he is generally irritable, fussy and overall just not himself. I guess we are not sure how to best approach this issue either, but it definitely happens.

[bella2323]

we have some of the same trouble. my kids are 12yrs. and 6yrs. and it has not gotten any better over the yrs. im a stay at home mom and we home school. as long as it is just me and them all is fine. my husband is a self employed pc tech. and our office is in the bassment of our home. so he is in and out all the time. you would think this would help them be okay. it never matters if he is here for couple hours or all weekend. as long as we are toghther they act up. i have to say that when dad is home i do find us trying to work toghther, when he is not there i find i work more with the kids, to work things out. i feel this is most of the trouble for us. its not that they want dad gone, or mom gone, just that mom and dad are different in the way we parent our kids when we are toghther. the kids don't like this change in us and so they react to it.