4 yr old

[oneboy03_onegirl06]

Hi everyone! I am looking for alittle advice. So anyone that can help it will be greatly appreciated! First off i have a 4 yr old son. Extremely smart, caring, loving, all around great boy. But of course there are some issues lately. We have having some listening issues.. doesn't want to listen to anything lately. We have tried time out, spankings, takin' toys away, everything.. not has seemed to work lately. Any advice on that? Bed time.. bed time is a major struggle... i put him into bed and he cries and cries and cries.. if i leave the room he gets out of his bed. Just five minutes he always says. Any tips on bedtime? Finally anxiety when away from me. He is fine when he goes to my parents house but if he stays there is some whinning at bed time.. whinning for mommy. But he will cry and cry when he goes to another family members home. He always goes to pre-school 2 times a week.. the first month was hard.. he cried (and myself) when i dropped him off. After about a month it was like bye mommy have a great day. Now for the past 2 weeks.. he is holding on to me and doesn't want me to leave him. But once im gone.. he is fine. Can anyone help me with any of these issues? I know others might have worse problems than myself.. but someone please help.

[jtmommy32]

My first question is there anything stressful going on in your family's life right now that your son is picking up on? Children are very receptive but don't have the vocabulary to express what they are feeling.
Also, you said in your post that the first month of preschool that both of you cried at drop-off, could he be picking up on your feelings about leaving him with other people?
You said he is smart, caring, etc, maybe try sitting him down and talking to him about what he is feeling. Talk to him on his level and see what is going on with him. You said he isn't listening at home, maybe try some different tactics. Ask his preschool teacher how she gets him to listen in class. Preschool teachers are a wealth of knowledge on getting young children to cooperate by making the kids think it's their idea and not something you want them to do.
Hopefully it's just a phase he is going through adapting to preschool and being away from you.
As for bed time, I have read in several places to make a request card that allows your son one last request before bed time be it an extra kiss, drink of water, story, etc. Let him know that after he uses his card, that he has to be in bed, lights out and is not allowed out. Also, not to make bed time a power struggle. If he gets out of his bed, then he has to stay in his room and he has to be quiet. If he comes out of his room, take him back to his bed, but don't make a big deal out of it and don't stick around. Let him know it is bed time and leave it at that. Once he realizes that you aren't going to give in, he'll give up.
Florence