Young Mom needing adivce

[beautifulchoppy]

hi i know how you guys feel. i get looks all the time i am 20 but look about 16. my husband looks young too. whrn i go places by myself with my son i get nasty looks poeple look at my left hand at my ring or they ask if he is my nephew or little brother. they don't belive me when i say he is my son but i tell them i have the c-section scar to prove it and ask if they want to see it. then the say i am too young to have a baby and i say amom is judged by how old she is but how happy her children are and my son is a happy baby.
my husband and i was married almost a year ago when i was 19. we were dating a year when he asked me to be his wife but it felt like we knew each other for years. we were going to wait till the summer to get married but his national guard unit got put on alert to go over seas so we moved the wedding up so we could have all the paperwork done before he would have to go. thankfully he didn't have to go. we also decided to start a family right away so we were young enough to keep up with our kids. i got pregnant a month or so after we were married. our son was born in Oct two months early. i had to quit my job because i used up all my leave before he was out of the hospitable so right now i am sahm and going back to school in the summer. money is tight right now and we are getting help from wic but we are saving money in daycare.

[Karen75]

Unfortunately, you're going to get this if you look young. My sister ran into the same problem when she was a teenager. Once she was at Disneyland with family, and happened to be the one pushing the stroller with our stepmother's nephew inside. She got horrible looks from people who assumed she was a teenage mother. In your case it's even worse, as you're a happily married woman and not even a minor. It was not uncommon for women to have babies at a young age in the past. My grandmother was 18 when she had my uncle.

I don't know what, if anything you can really do about it. I doubt telling some holier-than-thou woman who's actually berating you to mind her own business would work.

[graciepoopheadsmommy11106]

im 20 and i just had a baby. was 19 when i became pregnant. my sister is younger than me and has 2 and she is married. and i live in the small southern town soooo basically according to this town..me and my sister and family are getting a strait ticked to hell. and to hear them whisper or say things hurts more than i can say, u want people to see how great of a mom u are. but they dont. i completly understand...but i have a big mouth...she would have heard a earful from me...if my daughter wasnt with me. id probably say some mean words as kind as i could so my daughter wouldnt catch on the mood. YOU ARE A MOM!!! that is a blessing! ignore that lady. she doesnt have the blessing of raising a beautiful child without such a harsh judgemental mind. be proud! screw them. all of them.

[kaydensmomma10]

Wow, I had my daughter at 18, about a month before I turned 19 and she was planned. I wear my senior 2009 shirt all the time still because I like the shirt and I look good in it. Not one person has said anything to me. I would have raised hell with this lady if I were you. I am the type not to take crap from anyone though. I am sorry she treated you like that. A lot of people judge without knowing someone, you just either say something and then walk away or you just ignore and walk away from it. If it gets out of hand that someone is following you or harrassing you then tell the employees there and they will make that person leave. You should never have to leave a store because of someone else. You know you are a good mother and that is all that should matter.

[DuCasey]

Well, first of all, that woman is awful.
I'm 19 now, I'm 16 weeks pregnant, and unmarried. I've been with the baby's father for over 3 years, and I am ridiculously in Love with him. We're both really excited about this. I can't say that I've had an experience like that, but I did lose someone really close to me because she was upset that I was pregnant, so she decided to say really terrible things, to anyone but me, about it. It's hard being judged for something like that. But what I've forced myself to realize is that it doesn't matter. You can stress yourself out over it, you can yell at them, you can try to explain, but in the end, it doesn't matter. People are going to believe whatever they want to believe, and you can't change their minds. Focus on you, your husband, and your baby, because that is ALL that matters. These people are ignorant for thinking that they know anything about you. That's on their shoulders, not yours. YOU are happy with the lifestyle that you're living. Your family is happy. Who cares if some bitchy woman at the grocery store is happy about it?

[destinynmark]

Wow! Thats rediculous but i know exactly how you feel. I just had my son Vincent in January & 10 days after he was born i turned 18. You can only imagine the looks let alone people i have to deal with. especially since im not married nor do i have a place of my own. Regardless the situation as long as the baby is happy and healthy, people cant say jack s**t about anything. I'm sure you're a great mother, the proof is in your son. I think people need to mind their own business when it comes to us young mothers. I dont know how were being irresponsible by bringing him into the world, were owning up and taking care of our sons, as far as im concerned thats as responsible as responsible gets.

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[sharronlog]

I'm 25 yrs old,I have lived with my mom all my life. I am attending school and I have been in a relationship for a year with someone I really love alot.
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[BadWolf]

Just think of it this way, you look young and will age ten times better than them because your healthy and your baby and husband make you happy. I'm pregnant (though not married, I wear a ring signifying I am with someone. In his culture we are technically married though) and I'm 26, but I look much younger because of my size and my diet. I don't pay attention enough to see if someone is giving me the stink eye, because honestly its not their business. They might also be unsure if I'm pregnant or chubby so don't want to make the mistake of ranting about being young and pregnant and have me turn around and yell at them that I have a glandular issue and I'm gonna sue (which is oh SO tempting)
I don't like to let things get to me so I stress out, I take deep breaths and if I feel they deserve a lashing, they will get it. No one has the right to tell anyone else whether they can have a child or not, and at what age. I assume they're just angry that you look so good after having a child and they waited longer and look their age. Hold your head high and cuddle with your baby. Best medicine ever. For anything

[LucillesMama]

I would tell her that, with all due respect, I am married, have a home of my own, billas are paid, and my age has nothing to do with my ability to be a great mother to my child- which I am. And I would appreciate it if you kept those thoughts to yourself, please.
Nice, calm but still getting your point across that you dont respect an outburst like that.