I had my first son at 15 yeah people talked and yeah it took my self esteem down a few notches but i stepped back and looked at the situation i was going to school and working full time and taking really good care of my baby so who cares what people think but when i got pregnant again and had my daughter only ten days after turning seventeen it was harder to not let the comments people made get to me espeacially with full blown post partum and tons of school work to make up i found myself crying often and even more often defending myself against the conservative most times in public like the time i took my son to Mickey D's to get a well deserved happy meal and woman came over to admire my kids upon learning my age she began to lecture me and ask me questions like whats wrong with me what was i thinking and the most common DIDNT YOU LEARN THE FIRST TIME i am now 18 with a 2 year old son a one year old daughter and am expecting my third in only four short weeks people still say what they have to but i am a great mom and enjoy being there for my children regardless of my age and i would have to say i am doing well for myself and am very pleased with my life!!!!!
Sad fact this happens to me alot. My husbend and I are married and had been for over a year when I got pregnate and the it started I am twenty one he is twenty nine, And I look like I am 17, People have harrassed me before when they first say me with our daughter from his prior marrige whom is five. And I didn't know what to do. However this past time I was buying my grocerys and this woman and her friends marched up and started preaching at me, And I went off!!! And made one hell of a scene I am not supposed to be able to get pregnate so my little micah is a miracle and I saw this woman as degrading that and I go so steamed I Showed her my wedding ring and yelled my age at her the fact that my husbend works at the college here in my hometown and yelled at her that some pretty mean things I felt so bad because this has kept happening and she looked like she was going to cry and then this woman near me with her child started laughing and told me get em tiger and people alll around were giving her the dirty looks. I still felt so bad though. But secretly on the inside I was jumping for joy.
Last edited by Caitye_bug; 05-17-2010 at 11:12 PM.
i got married at 18 to a guy who is 23. he works a good and stable job and we have no help from the government. i'm currently pregnant and 19 now. i have a similar situation. even our former OB didn't take us seriously. at least we young moms will have more energy and more years to spend with our children. it's really all about the person not the age. people can be 40 and abusive horrible parents. you aren't alone!
I was a young mom too! Don't let it get to you. Remember that 100 or so years ago girls at 14 and 15 were mothers and it was the norm. They were great mothers and raised our founding fathers...so people who don't like it can mind their own business. Also, the next time someone says something to you don't leave. Why should you be put out because someone else has a problem with you? They can leave. You are not doing anythign wrong. Tell them to butt out and get over it. Don't even let them finish talking, just walk away and stop paying attention; after all that is what they really want attention: from you and everyone one else in the store and then latter when they brag about it. Don't give them the satisfaction!
Keep your head up and just remember that young mothers make young grandmothers who can keep up with their grandkids!
ok so this goes out to all the ladies, the young moms, the old moms and the grandmoms. seriously stop judging each other. its none of anyones business how someone else chooses to live their life. unless someone is clearly harming a child, be it theirs or not, i dont pass judgment. I dont look at my kid and someone elses kid and compare, thats all crap. this is why kids aren't getting what they need, because people are spending all their time worrying what everyone else is doing and not about how their actions will impact the kids around them, The kids are watching, and they see how you act, and judge and mistreat others....guess what they will start to do. THE SAME THING. Now to the poor girl who had this ridiculous woman yell at her, dont ever stand there and take it. If you have to, grab security and have her removed from the premises. tell them you feel threatened and harassed, maybe then she will think twice about taking that high horse out in public again. give her a dose of the embarrassment she has tried to give you. Ask security to escort her off the property, she will hopefully feel some shame about how she acted, but then again, she felt she had a right to judge you unnecessarily, so maybe she is just a little touched....and clearly not by an angel.
If I was you and I was I would not worry about it to much. People are going to say what they want rather they know you are not. I went through the same thing but I was 18 when I had my daughter. Even after having my daughter my mother will still tell me how proud she is of me which made me feel good and dismiss what everyone else said. To me a first time mom is a first time mom regardless of age. You going to make mistakes and you learn from them. There is not a "prefect" parent but the "best" parent you can be. Keep your head up hun I am pretty sure you are doing a great job.
so, would she rather see a 50-year old woman with her first child, or a 19-year old in college, married mother to a marine? i mean, doubtful the 50-year old will live to see her grands or even her own child graduate. seriously, i don't go around judging people, though i have been judged (or with someone who was judged) a similar way. even though i was 22 when i had my first child, that was still too young for some. i just ignored the comments, until i had enough, then i told someone to "get a life" and walked on.
i am currently pregnant, i am to 19 years old but ill be 20 in october. people look at me all the time, walking around in the mall, outside, in the store, where ever its like theyve never seen a pregnant woman before, i think the main reason people look at me strange is because i look younger than i am. but still ya know, in my opinion, 19 isnt a bad age to have a baby, i didnt plan to be pregnant now, but hey it happened and im happy! im not married, and my bf comes from a very religious family so they kept saying we need to get married, but we dont feel that now is the right time because we'd only be marrying because of a baby. but thats just rude and obsurd for that woman to go off on you like that, i dont know how you kept your cool honestly i woulda been very upset with her and said some words back. kudos to you hun!!
I agree with Craftyashley. That lady definitely had some issues of her own. But I do know how u feel. I had my son at 18 and I wasn't married so I got it pretty bad too. I also look very young. I'm now 21 and am constantly getting carded, even if its just for a rated R movie at the theaters. So I had women try to tell my that I was way too young to be a mom and things of that nature as well. U just have to know that ur doing the absolute best u can at being a mom (congrats on the marriage btw) and take what they say with a grain of salt.