I know how you feel. I am 21 and I have two children. I got married right when I turned 18. I look like I am 14, maybe 16 at the oldest. My husband used to work 60 hours a week so I was always going places with my mom - which made me look even more like an unwed teen mother.
It is sad that people are so obviously disapproving of us because we look like unwed mothers, but the sadder part is that they think they have the right to treat the real unwed teen mothers poorly.
I often want to walk around screaming "I'm not 14!! I was married for almost a year when I got pregnant!! My children are 1.5 years apart on purpose!!! This was no accident!!"
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
I was 24 when I had my son, and people still looked at me like I was young. One lady tried to ask me if I was babysitting my child. We were in the mall when he was 2 months old and was crying because he was hungry. She tried to tell me I needed to change him. I told her I would deal with it. In reality, I was breast feeding at the time and was starting to transition to bottle feeding because I was going back to work, but he just wanted to nurse. People will automatically feel they know more and tell you what you need to do instead of saying, "I've been there, it gets better." Your best bet is to just figure out what you have to do to make your self feel better in the situation, walking away or saying something, and do it knowing eventually it will stop.
I had my son in December and I am only 20 and single. I have never had anyone lash out at me to my face but I know of people who have shared their opinions about me behind my back and I do get the nasty looks now and then. I think no matter what people will judge. Those who matter won't and that's what you have to remember. I have a wonderful family and have had so much support from them and from our church and friends that those few bad looks and remarks don't matter in the end.
i too am a young mother im 26 and i look 16...i get it all the time " hey is that your little sister?' (my daughter who is 4) i even i had this couple tell me off saying kids having kids....tell they found out my age but still thats none of your business..honestly i dont care if you are on welfare and have kids your still taking care of them...and by the way let the haters hate cause thats what they do best but you knw what they also let you knw yr doing something right...dont trip let'em hate...
Wow. That's crazy. I'd just say mind your own business." I don't think you should be rude back because that just brings you down to that person's level. Show how mature you are by your response. Short and sweet will do the trick!
I am also a young mother. Had my first at 17 and my second at 18. But I was married and my children were planned, not accidents. I get the "why would you want kids so young?" question but I just say this was my plan in life and I do what works for me, not for others.
No one has to give an explanation to strangers with attitudes.
i know exactly what you mean! i had just turned 21 when i fell pregnant. no, our daughter was not planned, and no, i'm not married. i am however in a very committed relationship & the father is still very involved. marriage has nothing to do with conceiving a child. it is not a requirement. throughout my pregnancy, i constantly got dirty looks and had people checking out my ring finger. who says you even have to wear a wedding ring if you're married? i know several people that don't. i have only had one person so far tell me that i look too young. i'm sure others have thought it though as i do look younger than a week shy of 22. it really bothered me when i first fell pregnant because i knew people would judge me. but then i realized that it is none of their business. i would be lying though if i said it didn't bother me at least a little still. we love our daughter very much. she is absolutely perfect.
in the words of dr. seuss, "be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
Deleting all my posts because of the sicko wanting pictures of our kids.
Last edited by angel25705; 08-20-2009 at 11:16 AM. Reason: Deleting all my posts because of the sicko wanting pictures of our kids.
I am not a mother but I am a nanny and I am 20 years old. I started becoming a nanny last year when I had just turned 19. Now I do have a few friends around my age with children, but what I find funny is when I am taking care of the children that I watch and people give me wierd looks like they think the kids are mine. I would see them give me dirty looks and some of them would actually start talking to me. One time I was watching an almost 3 year old and a 10 month old and at the park a woman told me I was a disgrace for having two children at my age. I looked right back at her and said "These are not my children, I am their nanny." She looked embarassed and apologized and then walked off to be with her children. It just shows that you should never judge until you know the whole story. And even if I did have a baby at my age, it doesn't mean I'd be a bad mother just because of my age. There are teenage mothers who make better parents than 40 year olds! Don't let other people put you down, they are not in your situation, they can't know just by looking at you if you are a good mother or not. Simply tell them that your life (and your baby's life) is none of their business and go about your day being the great mother you are!!
Proud to be an Army Wife
& Mommy to Roman and Keira
A forum for mothers, as well as those expecting and trying!