Young Mom needing adivce

[ilovebabygirl]

So I am a young mother. I had my son a few months after I turned 19. I was already married at the time but I still tend to get dirty looks when I am shopping or at coffee, lets just say in public all together. Once a woman even went off on me. Telling me how irresponsible I was to bring a child in this world at a young age, I will never be a good mom (because I am to young), and I was a w---e (if you get my drift). I was so embarrassed I left my shopping cart were it was and went back to my car (only to return later that night to finish shopping).

Now my whole thing is. Why would someone just assume that without even knowing me?

I mean Im married. Im a SAHM. My husband brings home decent money. We have a house. We have everything Hunter could need or want. All the bills are paid on time and in full amount. We arent on welfare.

I was so angry at the time I could even think straight.

But still why? How could someone go off on a young mother in public without knowing their story?

I mean sheesh I had my wedding ring on!

Does anyone have any advice so if this happens again I dont lose my cool.

Girl I'm a young mother too some advice, everyone was talking when I had my babygirl at a young age but you know what? if you in your heart know that your a good momma and noone knows you just ignore/laugh at them because it just shows who the bigger person is after that who's going to be looking like the inmature person at that point?

[kelly23]

I would definitely say something. It is not their business what is going on in your life. Say something like, "Oh I didn't realize I asked for your opinion." You sound like you have your ducks in a row and a good head on your shoulders. Don't let it get to you, but stand up for yourself.

[sweetxcheekss]

Hey there,
i am a young mom myself, i got pregnant before i turned 19 and had my baby at 19. i always get dirty stares when i go to public places and older people tend to eye me like to hawk as if i'm intimidated or i will do something wrong. i'm a young first time mother and NO IM NOT married. but just because you are married, or just because you are 30 40 50 doesnt make you a GOOD mother. Hell, some mothers are way older than we are and still cant take care of their own kids. Society just has it that teen mothers arent good enough mothers but all i can say is PROVE THEM WRONG.

[j-love]

I feel for you...nobody has the right to judge you. My hubby and I have always gotten the stink eye...even more when we moved to the south..(no offense to those from the south). We are an interracial couple and married right out of high school. The first question people would ask when they found out we were married and young was, 'how old is your kid?'. Like they assumed we only got married b/c of a pregnancy. We actually didn't have a baby until almost 3 years into our marriage. We are still young (21 and 22) and still get the stink eye for being young parents. I just stare right back until they look away. Just try to brush the haters off... :-)

[NaomiK]

I was 21 when I had my daughter. People say I look 16 or 17. I got alot of looks too. Keep your head up. You know your a good mom and screw all those other people! I would have told her "Excuse me, a responsible ADULT would not speak like that in font of a child! Did you raise your kids to speak that way to others? I teach my child that its not ok to judge people and to use that language!" The nerve of that woman! Hopefully this wont happen again. But I do want to point out, everyone seems to be putting alot of emphasis on being married. I am married, but I know a few single moms who are the best moms I know. It doesnt matter if your married or how much money you make. As long as your putting food on the table and your are raising your kids the best you can. Just because you dont have the best of everything doesnt mean your a bad mom either. I think I got worse looks when I was pregnant. Or maybe I just noticed more.

[atippit]

That is going to happen for a long time. My son is 11 and people think he's my younger brother because he's 5'1 and 120lbs and I'm not that much bigger than he is while not appearing to be 28. You have to learn to brush it off and walk away from those people. The greatest thing I've ever said to get out of a situation was, "And to think I was a virgin!" And smile and just wander off, if anything they'll be so confused or think you are insane enough to leave you be.

[LaTenah]

I am a PROUD, SINGLE, 1ST TIME, YOUNG mother (16) of a 17day old babygirl. I get the looks and comments all the time but i hold my head up high because no one can judge me but God. I know that i am doing the best i can to provide the best life for my child with or without help. My child was made out of love and everything doesn't work out the way you plan but i keep moving! She must of been going through something personal in order to outlash at you. I can only tell you that there is always going to be stares, comments, opinions, judgements but as long as you know your life is okay and your not stressed then that is all that matters. Your job isnt to pay attention to anyone except your family.

[Noey's Mom]

I am 28, but I could probably pass as 17. I also have a 17 month old boy. I also get comments from people like: "you have a baby, how old are you, you look so young". But the hard thing is that other mothers don't want to associate with me at the park, because I just look like some young kid with a baby. So we usually just play by ourselves.

[atlasVI]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I do not know why people feel the need to judge you just because you are young (next time you should tell her 18 yr olds have the best outcomes in childbirth survival rates for both mother and child--although you were older than 18).

[H.Starr]

I was 22 (and married!) when I had my son.

Granted, I only look about 16 or 17 (on a good day!).

Whenever I went anywhere without my husband when I was pregnant, I ALWAYS got stares from older women. No one ever said anything, but their looks said it all. So I got into the habit of keeping my left hand in view. I would always have it resting on my (enormous!) belly, or I'd scratch my face or move my hair when I knew they were looking. I know they saw it, and most times I got no more stares after that.

Even now when my son and I go places alone, I still get looks. So I still use the Left-Hand-In-View trick whenever possible.

I think its just inevitable, there will always be people who look down on you and judge you without knowing anything about you. You just have to know that they are far more pathetic than you since they spend their days analyzing and judging strangers, and your life isn't their business anyway.

And if they have the audacity to actually say something to you, feel free to say PLENTY right back.