Young Mom needing adivce

[BirminghamMa]

So I am a young mother. I had my son a few months after I turned 19. I was already married at the time but I still tend to get dirty looks when I am shopping or at coffee, lets just say in public all together. Once a woman even went off on me. Telling me how irresponsible I was to bring a child in this world at a young age, I will never be a good mom (because I am to young), and I was a w---e (if you get my drift). I was so embarrassed I left my shopping cart were it was and went back to my car (only to return later that night to finish shopping).

Now my whole thing is. Why would someone just assume that without even knowing me?

I mean Im married. Im a SAHM. My husband brings home decent money. We have a house. We have everything Hunter could need or want. All the bills are paid on time and in full amount. We arent on welfare.

I was so angry at the time I could even think straight.

But still why? How could someone go off on a young mother in public without knowing their story?

I mean sheesh I had my wedding ring on!

Does anyone have any advice so if this happens again I dont lose my cool.

[craftyashley]

Wow- that lady had some serious issues of her own, it probably had nothing to do with you at all. I can't imagine something like that would happen again! I don't know if there is anything sane to say to a raving lunatic that would make them think twice. Sorry! As long as you know you are doing the best you can for your child that's really all that matters. The lady who yelled at you should have been the embarrassed one, not you.

[cay8099]

I'm gonna be honest here, and say that I would have given it back just as good as I got. You don't deserve that treatment, and someone B***H who thinks she's God has no right call you a w***e. Next time something like that happens hold your wedding ring in the woman's face and say "Only God has the right to judge me" then walk away.

[cay8099]

I was 23 when I had my first but I look young, and I even got the snide looks. Women everywhere I went were checking out my ring finger. I even heard remarks from ladies younger than me that I wasn't old enough to have a child. So you are not alone.

[Willbearsmom]

I'm 22 but I often get told I look like I'm 16, so when I was pregnant I totally got this kind of stuff all the time. It totally sucks and people have no right just to assume I'm some teenager who got pregnant! I'm not an outspoken person for the most part but I totally just slam it back in their faces. What they are doing is not ok and they need to know that. I would've been like, Dude I'm married, it's legal and my husband makes more money in a month than you have ever had in your entire life! (harsh I know but still!!) It's not their place to say anything. They don't even know you! lol can you tell this subject makes me a little mad?

[BirminghamMa]

I was just so confused and angry at the time I could open my mouth to say anything back without exploding. I mean yes Im 19 but I married and have everything it takes. Ive noticed more people now checking out my ring finger and honestly its annoying. Why are people so prejudiced against young mothers?

[Bec caV]

Why are people so prejudiced against young mothers?

Social stigma.... though honestly 50 years ago no one would have batted an eye as women tended to get married at 18 and have kids right away.

However, with more and more teen pregnancy and single mothers, as well as the shift in our society's belief at the proper age for marriage (it's gotten older and older for the past 40 or so years) as well as media portrayal that young mothers aren't good mothers... the older generation (who started waiting longer for marriage and family) has a bit of a hangup.

[Disco Lemonade]

Sorry that there are so many ignorant people alive. My sister went through that same ordeal. She also had her baby at 19 and she was also married. She married at 18 right out of high school. People would harass her because she looks younger than what she is. She was 19, but people must have thought she was 15. This was difficult for her because she got the evil eye every where she went. Honestly what helped her was to stop holding everything in, stop walking away and started confronting people. When (mostly elder ladies) would start trash talking her she would tell them what’s it to them, whether she was 19 or 25, their not paying for the babies diapers. This is how my sister just got over it. It worked for her. I don’t know what type of person you are, maybe you’re shy? But don’t let that bother you anymore, enjoy your baby and go tell those people to fuck off! They can be so dame annoying! It happened to me too, I had my baby 5 days after I turned 22, and people thought I was 16, so I got that crap too, I would tell them to go fuck them selves and left happy lmao.

[nkrumpfer]

I'm a pretty young mom too and my husband makes great money, I don't have to work, all our bills are always paid, we own a house. Like you we are actually better off than alot of 40 year old mothers out there.

You just have to understand that people think anyone under the age of 24 with a child is on welfare, the baby;s father isn;t in the picture, and we're all high school drop outs. It's because people are so used to maury and all those other shows that it clouds their views on people.

Just know that you provide the best for your kid and when people stare at you just think of all your accomplishments and know that your better than they are for not minding their business and judging a person before you know them.

You can always say "Thank you, now I know not to raise my son to be a judgemental snot like you are!"

[adahleesmommy]

i am a young mother too...when i had my first i was 19 and now i am almost 21 and pregnant again! i love it. i love everything about my life and i had a similar experience in the grocery store when my daughter was about 5 months old. the lady was saying the same things to me and i tried to make it into a joke, but she kept going and going and i finally snapped and told her "look, i am young yes but i am a better mother than some other moms out there, i work full time, go to school part time. i am engaged and have been for quite some time. i take care of my responsibilities and there is nothing you or anyone else can say to make me feel bad for doing the right things." people around me were laughing at the situation and i felt really a lot better after standing up for myself...dont let these judgemental people run all over you! stand up for yourself and put them in their place!!!