Welcome Carley Knobloch as our guest moderator on the Love Your New Mom Body Board this week only! Post your questions for her on this board and she'll do her best to respond. She’s here to whip your mindset into shape so you can begin to love your postpartum body and feel great.
Carley Knobloch is the founder of Mothercraft, a life coaching company that empowers moms to thrive in their personal lives, careers and relationships. She is a certified life coach, yoga instructor, author, workshop leader, business consultant and busy work-at-home mom. Through her successful life coaching practice, Carley supports mothers in their growth, development and fulfillment. Her nurturing parenting philosophy and relentless encouragement help her clients build the confidence they need to make lasting lifestyle changes. She lives inLos Angeleswith her husband Mike, her 7 year-old son Spencer, 4 year-old daughter Annie, and Jenny, the wonder puppy.
Join Carley for a special Teleclass entitled: "How To Adore Your New Mom Body" on April 3rd at 12p PST/ 3p EST! Visit http://www.mothercraftcoaching.com/teleclass/ to register.
Last edited by Sasha at Parenting.com; 03-30-2009 at 01:12 PM.
Hi, I'm having trouble since having my second child (7 month girl, 3 year old boy) finding myself. I feel so lost in my family, I don't even know who I am. I love almost every minute of being a mom and wife, but I need to find myself and don't know where to start.
How do I get the motivation to work out? I am a stay at home mom so I can make the time but I just feel so unmotivated and I can't figure out why. I want to be excited about working out but it is more like a chore... what can I do?
I am struggling so badly to lose this baby weight! I just dont know what to do! I eat a really healthy diet - mostly vegetarian - some lean meats and fish every once in a while but mostly beans, whole grains, fruits & veggies. I try to stay away from dairy, meat, and anything processed... I also try to drink about 3L of water a day. I exercise anywhere from 3-5x/wk and feel like I am in good shape - for example, I do the elliptical on the interval setting for 30-45 mins or walk at a fast pace for 3-5 miles... I have not done any weight training to this point...
Here is my major frustration - although, I have lost some weight (about 20 lbs right away while b-feeding and about 10 lbs max since then), I always seem to teeter totter on the scale - lose a few, gain a few, etc... Plus, I tried on the capris I wore 1 month after my son was born and they are barely even loose!!! And he is 11 mos old!!! How is this possible?
What am I doind wrong? Am I just destined to be fat? I need help - I hate my body - and am constantly having bad thoughts about myself - and cannot stand for my husband to see me naked!
That very question thrills a life coach. Thrilled not because you're suffering, but because you're ASKING which means you're ready to make some changes and reclaim parts of yourself after giving so selflessly to your family. So many moms share your feelings of identity crisis after becoming a mom, and of course it doesn't mean that you don't love your kids madly. But "mom" is only one of the many facets of you, and it's time buff up some of the other ones and let them shine!
Here's a good place to start. Grab a pen, open a journal, and ask yourself the following questions:
"What did I love to do when I was a child?"
"What would I do if I had all the time in the world?"
"What was the best day of my life? The day I felt most like 'me'?"
These kinds of questions will awaken passions and memories in you that you have likely forgotten. The key is to take from the answers what inspires you at your core, and then try to take small steps to incorporate those things into your life. For example, if you loved painting as a child, or writing short stories, maybe it's time for an art class or creative writing course? Bringing elements into your life that support who you are at your core will bring back your spark-- and that benefits EVERYONE in your family, not just you!
Please post again if you have follow-up questions.
Last edited by Carley at Mothercraft; 03-31-2009 at 04:35 PM.
Ugh, isn't that the million dollar question!? We are going to be discussing this very topic in great detail during the teleclass on friday (register below!), but here are a few places to get started:
1) Don't beat yourself up if you're not one of those people who just LOVES to exercise. I know those people... and god bless them, but I'm not one of them! Most people lack motivation to exercise, but bravo for seeking out ways to get yourself going!
2) You need community: Try finding friends who will set up regular dates to go for walks, attend classes, hit the gym or play sports. Trying to achieve this goal alone (ANY goal, for that matter!) is twice as hard. And lonely! Having friends to work out with makes it fun, social and adds the accountability you need to get off the couch.
3) Get creative: The treadmill makes me feel like a hampster, so I'm always tring to make working out fun. Try getting outside for a jog to the mailbox and back. Research cool workout classes in your area (ever heard of Anti-Gravity Yoga, Ballet Barre or Afrocardio Fusion?) or get involved on a sports team. Treat yourself to new workout videos or find an indoor rock climbing gym.
4) Don't get overwhelmed. Don't pile on too much at once or you'll feel defeated and head back to the Ben & Jerry's. Start with one 1/2 hour per week. Work your way up slowly and you'll feel great about yourself for accomplishing your goals.
Goodness where do I start. I am a 27 year old single mom. Before having my Stinkerdoodle I felt pretty good about myself, but now when I see my body I just get totally disgusted with myself. Everything seems to be loose, saggy, and just out of place. I try to focus on something I like... but at this point there isn't anything. I look at my baby and I smile, but deep inside, I still wish I looked like the old me. I can't stand to see myself nude, and if I do see myself, I have to fight back tears.
There has to be something I can do to get the old me back. I miss her.
My partner became abusive after I got pregnant, so I left shortly after having my son (now 6mo). Because of the way we had everything set up, I walked away with nothing except a few clothes and my son. Now I'm living back at home, trying to make ends meet by working crappy jobs (even though I have a degree, it doesn't seem to help here), and feeling very very lost and frustrated. I don't know how to go about putting my life back together, and I know I need to in order to be the best mom I can possibly be. I feel stuck, and stupid for thinking that I was in a great relationship.
Don't let the pants bum you out. It sounds like you've lost at least 30 pounds since you wore those pants, and that's a huge accomplishment. So many moms are focused on the things they aren't doing, and never give respect to the things they ARE doing. So, don't let the pants become a symbol of your failure. Celebrate the amazing care you're taking of yourself through your great diet and exercise.
Without knowing what your weight goals are and how far away you are from them, I can already tell that your internal dialogue is pretty self-defeating, and it's going to be hard for you to reach your goals if you're putting yourself down. And I'm sure not letting your husband see you naked is not doing much for your relaitonship!
So, what to do?
If you're frustrated by a plateau you've hit, maybe invest in an appointment with a personal trainer or nutritionist who can help you tweak your diet or exercise regime to increase weight loss.
Also, try letting your husband in a little... allowing him to show you how much he loves your body-- the body that made him a beautiful baby-- will inspire you to rethink your negative ideas about it.
Here's what I know for sure, without even knowing you: You are a loving mother who is modeling great self-care habits for her children. You are a disciplined, beautiful person who deserves accolades for healthy eating and exercising while chasing after a toddler. And you deserve a supportive team around you who can help you reach your goals (include yourself on that team).
I have a cuddly, 13 month old who loves to climb (much like me!) I am pretty proud of what my body accomplished, even though I think the resultant stretch mark (think watermelon, not a few, LOTS) tummy is pretty ugly. Thankfully I live someplace that is cold most of the year, so the tummy is tucked away under layers! lol Before getting pregnant I spent 1 year getting into the best shape of my life, because I wanted to set myself up for an easy pregnancy. It worked. Although I gained an astonishing 70+ pounds I had no problems, not even back pain!
Now I'm struggling with how to find the resources to allow for me to get back into shape again. I know I need to make time, but I can't figure out how to make it happen. I work full time away from the house a 9hrx4 days + 4hrsx1 day schedule. My husband runs a successful ebay business out of our home and plays, teaches, cuddles, feeds etc. etc. our son while I'm away. As soon as I'm home and until munchkin goes to bed, I take care of him so my husband can get his work done. All weekend I'm it again, so hubby can do the work necessary to run the business. We need the income, so I don't know how to get time. He says he's willing to give me time, but I am worried that if I take it, it will be detrimental to our family.