Let's talk openly about porn

[ZEPHYRVI]

You know I just realized I haven't given my personal opinion yet. porn is ok if both people are ok with it,
If one is uncomfortable with it they need to make their partner aware of it, and talk about how it makes
Both of you feel. You know maybe your husband just needs to understand where you are coming from and vice versa, he might decide that you are more important than him watching the occasional porn, you might also decide its not something to stress over. Every relationship is built differently, and no one should be allowed to judge others or try to change what they do or think in theirs.

[H.Starr]

I agree with Heather. It's gross to me. I guess if you are both ok with it then ok! But if not you need to respect each other. I consider it sex if a man gets... well you know... while watching it and I consider it cheating because he is doing it while watching other women.

This is kind of similar to my opinion, as well.

[2wildones]

i had never seen porn til my husband showed me a video he ha. it was crappy and fake...really low budget. i was intriged though so he showed me some magazines he had. since then we have bought like 4 movies and watched a bunch on pay-per-view. im pretty into it now.

[2wildones]

I sounds to me like you laid down the law and he had no choice or voice in the matter. Sounds like you put him in a position where he had to say he doesn't care about it and he wouldn't look at it. And I'm sorry but to make him watch it and watch you cry about it is more demeaning to your husband than him hiding it from you was to you. If you want respect, you have to give it.

IMO the way you've handled the porn subject in your marriage has openned your marriage up for your husband to not be candid with you about much more than just porn.

i agree with charliesmommy. to just say that you forbid him from watching it is only going to make him mad and want to watch it more. not to say that he shouldnt respect your wishes but you need to compromise. maybe you could make your own porn and he could watch it instead. but as my hubby says, guys always want to see different women, but that doesnt mean he doesnt want you anymore or that he loves you less. i used to feel self-concious when we would watch it but i got over it. sometimes it helps to pick apart the chatacters and point out all their flaws. then you feel hotter . in the end, it may actually HELP your sex life.

[charliesmommy]

i agree with charliesmommy. to just say that you forbid him from watching it is only going to make him mad and want to watch it more. not to say that he shouldnt respect your wishes but you need to compromise. maybe you could make your own porn and he could watch it instead. but as my hubby says, guys always want to see different women, but that doesnt mean he doesnt want you anymore or that he loves you less. i used to feel self-concious when we would watch it but i got over it. sometimes it helps to pick apart the chatacters and point out all their flaws. then you feel hotter . in the end, it may actually HELP your sex life.

Excellent Advice!