Am I a bad parent?

[UnbreakableXx]

I don't usually go on here, but I have no where to turn no one to talk to. I have a 4 and half year old son who i love to DEATH, and would not trade for anything in this world believe me. And I am so greatful to have him. But At times I get to stressed and angry, and just his whinning drives me crazy to where I feel I'm yelling constantly at him. He knows I love him (I hope). I need to stop this, But I'm a single mom I get stressed. He crys and whines over alot. We were just outside teaching him to ride his bike (With no training wheels) And he almost fell and got angry and upset. I know Its frustrating but I told him not to throw a fit outside people are going to think hes a baby. He got angry and walked away. I guess its my fault and my parents we babyed him so much, but I don't know. What can I do to stop this, My mom took him up to the park to give me a break which I'm about to walk up there now but I am in tears crying. I don't want him to not love me, or feel i don't love him because i do with everything. I live for him. But sometimes I just can't deal. Anyone else feel like this? Please no rude comments.
Thanks alot,
xoxo

[cay8099]

Oh, sweetie, we all feel this way sometimes. You'll get angry at him and he'll get angry at you. It happens. In those moments where you feel you can't deal; remember that you are not alone. All of us ( even those of us who are not single mothers) have these moments where we are so frustrated we feel like screaming and throwing things. It's those moments when those little arms wrap around you and you hear "I love you mommy" that make up for the bad moments.

[cay8099]

Sometimes it helps me to deal with the frustration and anger if I stop, close my eyes, take a deep breath and tell my 5yo how much I love him. Then I explain look we can't go to the park today(or whatever the situation at the time is), but we can......

[bvas81]

I have to agree, we ALL have those moments. I know sometimes I feel clueless about what I'm doing! LOL! I want to feel like parenting is just insticts..... then I'm like.... oh man, I'm just winging it! haha!
Like cay said.... don't worry it happens to us all!
If you raise your voice chances are your lil one will raise his voice (and i know it can be hard to not raise your voice when you really want to yell as loud as you can) but that's usually how it goes. It can be tough to be calm during those tantrums! But that is the key... to be calm. Always tell him you love him and remind him you love him so much.
when we are having one of THOSE days... I have to put my boys somewhere where we can have a little space to calm down. It works most of the time. hang in there

[UnbreakableXx]

Thanks so much everyone. It made me feel better I really aint alone. I do tell him I love him. Way to much lol. and always hold him and hug him hes my whole life!. Just at those times i feel sometimes he hates me and i feel i'm a bad mom and it hurts. I try to do the best I can, and try to give him what he needs and stuff its just hard and stresses me out. Thanks everyone

[christinel]

Sometimes I fell the same way I have a 2.5 yrs old and a 7 month old I had to get my 2.5 into daycare and the 7 month old sometimes whines alday long I don't have the family and when i do go to family they say i have spoiled my 2.5 because he whines alot or yells I don't think you are a bad parent you are not alone I miss my kids when they are gone and sometimes i can't wait until they go

[taraken]

I am not a parent yet, but have a ton of godchildren, nieces, etc. From the outside looking in (you can take this with a grain of salt), you can tell that the children whose parents yell and scream, tend to do the same. The ones (I know it is almost impossible), that sit down and talk to the child once they are calm (give yourself a time out) are better at communicating their feelings. I don't know if it is just the particular children...but I like watching the second so much more...(we do for weekend here and there.) That being said....I don't think you are in any way a bad parent. But do your best not to "react"....at least not in front of him...otherwise he will pick up your yelling habit.

[sage]

yeah, it happens to all of us. When my son was smaller, I had a nanny so I really get to take care and play with him. But when I lost my nanny almost 2 yrs ago, I have to do household chores and take care of him, I really get impatient at times. It was then that I realized how hard it is to be a full time mom. I now understand why sometimes mommies easily get irritated. BVAS is right, they tend to do what we do. I saw my son doing what I do when I get mad. So, in "those" days its better to have a minute alone before we go and deal with them.


http://mybasilandsage.blogspot.com/

[Landon'sMommy]

Obviously you are NOT alone!! I catch myself yelling constantly! I try so hard to relax and not have such a bad reaction to them but when the house is a mess, food is burning, the husband is calling from the other room, the doorbell is ringing and your little one comes in whining about something sometimes its all you can take!! And being a single mom makes it so much harder because you are mom and dad so you have double the responsibility! I am convinced more than ever since I got married that parenting is most DEFINITELY a job meant for 2 people! I bow down to all the single mothers you are some really strong women!! I was a single mother the first 7 months of my son's life so I got a taste of how hard it is! My son is 4 and he is not "babied" at least not to the point of being spoiled and he whines constantly as well so I do believe its an age thing or a stage they go through. In our house, if I get a whiny response for everything I say to him, he will get in trouble, whether it be time out or having the tv turned off or sent to his room. I treat it like a tantrum. Not only will it drive me up a wall but I feel like if I let it go it will teach him that its ok. Best of luck to you! Hang in there! And don't be worried about him not loving you or being afraid he thinks you don't love him! Just reinforce the love as often as you can with kisses and hugs and "i love yous" which I'm sure you do!

[Mikey_BKK]

We all yell sometimes and it is perfectly normal to loose control and do so sometimes
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What is important is that I as a parent must realise that it does not make my life as a parent - in the long run - any easier when I loose control. In fact, it does the opposite.
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Why should I expect my daughter to be able to control her feelings if I can't do it myself?
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Self-control is a very important talent in a child, much more important than what most parents think it is. There has been studies showing that children that show good self-control early more often go on to more successful lives, both academically and professionally - and here's the most surprising thing, also in their family life
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Self-control in our children starts with self-control in their role models, us. It's not easy, but we must try to remember that. Then we just do the best we can, that will be enough
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Michael
Father of Idea, the good Idea