My wife called me a bit ago with some news. My son's first grade teacher just gave her a copy of an email she received from the mother of one of the girls in his class. Her daughter says that my son told her he likes her, but just as friends. She also told her mom that my son rubbed her shoulders while they were in the lunch line, and then reached around and tickled her tummy. She also says he kissed her on the top of her head. Now it gets worse... she told her mother that my son said he wanted to have sex with her!
So, I'm sure my boy has seen my wife and I rub each others shoulders, and one way we show affection to him is to give him a kiss on his head. We've talked to him in the past about keeping his hands to himself, and not tickling other children. But I guess I didn't expect to be discussing sex with him until at least 4th or 5th grade!
So... I need to talk with him, but I want to make sure I tailor what I say so he'll understand (remember, he's 6!). I'm inclined to simply say to him, "Sex is what married people do when they want to have a baby" and move from there to talking about what is and isn't appropriate to talk about with his friends, treating others (esp. girls) with respect, telling him it's okay for boys and girls to be friends, but not boyfriend-girlfriend until they're 'grown-up', and a reminder that he needs to keep his hands to himself.
Is there anything else I should be saying? Anything I should avoid? Any ideas / suggestions on how to set the right tone?
Well... if the talk doesn't go well and the little boy and girl do have "sex" I can tell you it's gonna be with their clothes on and they're not gonna know what to do. A little boy asked me to have sex, and I said yes. Then he asked if I wanted to do it with clothes on or off. I said on. But then I said I didn't want to cuz I didn't really know what sex was at age 8, and I didn't know if it was a fun game to play or not. I just wanted to play on the rock wall in his garage, lol.
It seems, however, that your talk layout is pretty well structured. I just wouldn't make it seem like a big deal.
And it seems the younger you are, the more things you learn!!! Does your son ride the bus? I remember moving here and having to ride the bus... and I learned a LOT MORE on that bus about sex, sexual orientation, and body parts than I ever did in health class. If I have the option, my daughter won't be riding a bus! And if he is, anyway, expect to hear a lot more about these things... especially if he's outspoken enough to ask a little girl such things.
Hope all goes well! Shouldn't be too big of a deal. :]
Ruby Ilene born May 27th, 2009.
7lbs 11oz and 20in long.
How did the talk go?
I've heard of a book "WHERE DID I COME FROM?" by Peter Mayle, you might want to check that out. Read it with your son and start a conversation from there.
Or if he asks you a question like "what is sex?" or where do babies come from?" ...ask him what he thinks sex is....either or.
kids say all kinds of things to their friends and ideas come from anywhere and everywhere. lol!
I know it's coming..... and I'm dreading it! We all kind of dread it, it doesn't matter how "normal" the conversation is or should be cause it sure doesn't feel like a walk in the park kind of conversation!!........ for some reason it feels like we're walking on pins and needles about The TALK!!!!!!!! I want to be prepared though...... good luck!