Massage Parlor

[littlemadstar]

I definitely think he knew what he was doing. Come on. Why else would he lie in the first place. An honest man would walk in and be like "....uhmm....okay well, this isn't what I thought it was," turn around and leave. Not to mention he called the place? He knew what it was.

I...wouldn't be okay, at all, with my husband having someone else do anything to him sexually. I don't know how any other woman would be in the realm of okay with it...but to each her own I guess. I would feel very insecure of our relationship and honestly I would feel like its over.

But its a marriage and it deserves work. Unfortunately things like this happen. My advice would be to work at it and get the trust back...especially when you have kids.

[toddler mom]

I read your post..the one thing that threw me is that you checked his cell. Has he lied before, because it sounds like you are used to checking up on him and have doubts about the relationship already. Usually couples go for a massage TOGETHER on V day
Sorry

[christinas1]

O.K. why would he have the "cell phone" number, why was he gone that long if he changed his mind. He knew where he was calling and what they offered I'm sure he's been there before check his cell phone records you'll see the same number. He wasn't embarrased to tell you, he was scared b/c he got caught.
And on Valentine's Day no less, I'm sorry.

[ubtru]

It's amazing some of the responses I've read regarding her issue. Sweetie, you have every right to question him and go with your gut with his responses. I would recommend going to focusonthefamily.com for more helpful answers to your questions. If it turns out that he is soliciting these business's then you need to take care of yourself and your daughter, and biblically you have every right to divorce him. Obviously by the comments made that I've read, most woman may not even realize what is actually going on with these business's. Asian women are being legally/illegal sent here and being told they have to work for these business's to pay off their debt for getting here, or just so they can try to live the american dream. These woman are being exploited in every sense of the imagination. American men have even commented that they like going to these places because they are submissive unlike most western american counterparts. I am personally outraged by the exploitation of these women. But even more so by the fact that society is trying to tell married woman they just have to accept it and move on. I am married myself and have a 5 year old daughter. I know for a fact that my husband looks at online porn for his gratification. Not due to anything I have done, he has chosen to work night shifts, is prideful, and unwilling to face the fact that he is uncommitted, selfish, and immature and needs the Lord in his life and get counseling. If I had known what I know now, I would not have married him, but I did and I'm willing to stay committed to him because of the covenant I made before God. I do what I can to make our marriage work, but it takes two. Believe me, if I were to find out that he was going to places like that for sexual gratification or having an affair, I would be out the door in a heartbeat. I don't deserve it, and my daughter certainly does not deserve to have a pervert for a daddy. God did not intend it that way, and I will protect her as much as possible.

[BodyMassageMachine]

lovin3, not all husbands have a desire to cheat on their wives, but most do. It's simply the structure of the male psyche. Most men will cheat given the opportunity to fulfill a sexual fantasy or desire. As people spent more time together, they begin to seek more thrills elsewhere because what's going on in their live becomes boring.

As a male and a massage therapist (in training), I will tell you that your husband is lying to you. Let's ask a simple question: "Out of all the massage parlors and salons out there, how did you husband come upon one named 'Happy Endings?'" Someone who was honestly looking for a real professional massage would not enter a facility with that name.

A simple lie will erupt into a big one. I suggest you confront him about this immediately. If you go on ignoring it, not only will it burn a hole through your chest, but it will give him the comfort of knowing he can get away with it a second time.


http://www.2centsricher.net/blog.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?expert_bio=Jason_Vuu

[jsmith81]

jsmith81- I really hate to break it to you, but not every husband wants to cheat on his wife. Here's a few quotes from a post my husband had made regarding porn: "I have been married to my wife now for almost five years (together for nearly eight) and a father of 3 fantastic boys. My wife is plenty capable of fulfilling my needs... Bottom line: My wife is my queen, my soulmate, my best friend, and best thing that has ever happened to me. To say that I need porn would be to say that she is inadequate. Porn takes the focus of an intimate sexual relationship off of the other person and places it on yourself."

Some guys just know the value of their wife and marriage. Our marriage is based on trust and intimacy only between the two of us. We've had several converstions about these topics as I've been posting on the forums, and after each conversation, I become even more confident that he values me as a woman, wife and mother. Our marriage is sacred, and cheating of any form would betray our relationship. I am confident that regardless of whether he wants more sex or has crazy fantasies, I am the only one he will be with... EVER! He doesn't want to cheat on me and wouldn't even if I gave the green light (which is never happening...)

I don't see why you'd expect your husband to tell you any differently. If you want the truth about how most men think, especially about relationships and extramarital sex, don't ask your husband. He'll just tell you what you want to hear.

I could be wrong — your husband could be the one in a million who honestly wouldn't cheat under any circumstances — but he's probably not. I know you like to think he is, and by all means go on thinking it; it's not hurting anything. And chances are, he probably won't cheat on you. If there's even a slight chance of getting caught, most guys won't risk it — but it doesn't mean they have absolutely no desire to.

All I was trying to say was this: it's not unusual for a man to want sex from someone other than his wife. It doesn't mean you don't satisfy him anymore, it doesn't mean he's bored with you. It's just because he's a guy; he can't help it. He probably won't act on it, but if he does, you shouldn't take it personally. (I know you will, but you shouldn't.)

Oh, and porn? You have the Internet, don't you? Don't be naïve — you know he watches porn.

[lovin3]

So, out of defense of my husband and faithful (intellectually and physically) men everywhere, I really have to say that you've got it wrong jsmith81. I'm not naive about his faithfulness or his committment to our marriage. He's not into porn (I know that people have different opinions on this...) and that he would never watch porn. It has torn apart many relationships in his life and he values me and our three boys more than a few moments of personal gratification. As for cheating on me, he wouldn't ever. You are correct in that he wouldn't for fear of being caught. He knows that I'd have his bags on the front steps if I ever suspected he was cheating on me (and this is from conversations about it as we've watched the families of loved ones be torn apart by porn and adultery- he knows where I stand). But, most importantly, he doesn't desire to be with anyone other than me. We have both only been with each other, and we both have the morals, self-control, communication, etc. to keep it that way. Don't get me wrong, our relationship isn't perfect, nor is our sex life always, but we are in this marriage together. He may think another female is physically attractive, but not in a sexual way. He just doesn't go there. He also won't put himself in a position to cheat on me. Believe it or not, he works in a machine shop and doesn't participate in a lot of the conversations because of things that guys are doing and/or saying that go against his beliefs. He doesn't go out drinking or partying. He doesn't do porn or strip clubs or massage parlors. He spends his time supporting his family, loving his wife and raising his three beautiful boys.

I think it is sad that you would generalize men with such a hurtful, low stardard of being a man. I'm sorry that you haven't found a woman that you are so madly in love with that she alone holds your heart (and hormones). My little secret- my husband most turns me on by his faithfulness to me and his ability to be an amazing husband and father. That is how we've gotten three boys under the age of four! Maybe you'd have a little better luck with a different mindset and a little self-control.

[jlc85]

"He doesn't go out drinking or partying. He doesn't do porn or strip clubs or massage parlors."

So are you saying that all men that do this are bad and don't love their spouses with all their heart? Okay I can understand about the " Happy Ending" massage parlors but there is nothing wrong with drinking and partying or looking at porn and going to strip clubs. I go with my husband to strip clubs. It probably turns me on more than it does him. So does this make me a bad person also?

[lovin3]

jlc85- Sorry that my post came sounded like I was equating those behaviors with all men being bad husbands. I was more using it as an example of how he won't put himself in a position where cheating on me would even be a thought or possibility. This is in part because of our beliefs and also because he doesn't feel the need to go out and get smashed or whatever with the guys while I'm home taking care of the kids. As for the beliefs thing, I understand that different things are okay to different people. It just so happens that strip clubs and porn aren't okay to us. Just how you don't want your husband being characterized as a bad husband because of the things that are okay in your marriage, I don't think it is okay for all men to be stereotyped as cheaters that only wouldn't cheat because they can't get some or they are afraid of their wife finding out.

[Saphira]

Ok... So I caved and I had to check this thread out cuz of the "ATTN: All Men Cheat" thread.

I hate to say it... but a massage parlor doesn't do massages, any. There was a tv show that my friend was watching about these parlors. These young asian women are sold into the trade and forced into these places. Men then pay for services... for "massages" and they corner the women in their rooms. Whether the women want to concede or not. It's pretty obvious to any man, once he gets to the counter and talks to the clerk, what he's paying for.

And cheating, jsmith, is something that occurs when a man is unhappy in his current relationship. When he wants something more, he goes and finds it. Some men are SO stupid that they don't think, "Hmm. Taking a look at my current relationship... I have decided that I cannot stick with my wife! For some reason, I'm fantasizing about other women, and maybe I should talk it out with her... So, honey, I think we should end this thing before I make a huge mistake, and a huge jerk of myself. I'm not happy here and I think it'd be best for us both if I left." Because some of these idiots do not think to do that, and would rather be trampled by a heard of elephants than say, "I'm not into you [anymore]." Then the woman ends up getting hurt.

And I hope, jsmith, that you weren't one of those huge jackasses who walked into the massage parlor and forced an asian girl to have sex with you. Cuz MOST of them DO NOT wish to be there. That just makes you the biggest jerk. I do not know what any girl would see in you. Ever.