back to work blues

[becky]

im a new member so i apologize if this was recently a post

i took additional time off work to spend with our new little boy, our first baby
im dreading leaving him with a sitter. whom I have total confidence in and feel lucky to have her watch our little wonder but im still having trouble.

any advice to get through this

thanks

[myboysmom]

if it's that hard to leave your little one, could you work something out at your job so it's part time? Or a few days a week?

[ra11en]

Are you dreading it because you're going to miss him, because you feel guilty, or because you're not too sure of the sitter? Sometimes figuring out why it really bothers us helps us get through it. I read in Parenting magazine that sometimes we should listen to the guilt and make sure it isn't your gut telling you that your sitter or daycare isn't all that great. Be sure you're comfortable with your sitter!

It was terribly hard for me to leave my daughter when I went back to work. I missed her and I felt guilty about leaving her at the daycare. I have to work, no choice, so I reasoned the guilt away to the best I could. And honestly our daycare is so awesome and has exposed her to so much that she wouldn't have had if I were able to stay at home with her. It took a while but I made sure my internal dialogue was working with me, not against me. I never entertained that I'm a bad mother just because I can't stay home with her, and I take advantage of all the vacation time I can whenever I can just to spend the day with her.

There are no words anyone can offer on this board or anywhere else that will make you not feel bad for leaving your child while going to work. Even if you were a SAHM you would have plenty of guilt and second guessing. I'm sure you're a great mom, otherwise you wouldn't be having trouble.

[becky]

Im a teacher so I can't work part time this year but considered it for the next school year. My husband would rather I stay full time as I have better insurance and with the economy in the slums, I have security. I only have to go back for 10 weeks then I will be home with him for july and aug.
I feel very good about our sitter I just don't want to miss anything.

[blessedmom]

I'm right there with you. I've been struggling with this as well. Last June I got my school counseling degree and was only granted a two year license. I took this year off partly because our first son was born in October… and partly b/c there weren’t any school counselor jobs in my area. This is the time of year to start looking and I want to work b/c it would help our family financially…plus I need to start getting credit for my license renewal. But I REALLY HATE the thought of leaving him. When I think of the time I’ll miss by driving to & from work, being at work, etc… I get a bad feeling in my stomach. I miss him after leaving him for a few hours. We don’t even have a sitter or know of any good daycare options. Time to start researching I guess. At least you have someone you have confidence in to watch your baby. But I agree that even once we find someone, I’ll still have a hard time going back. I guess it’s one of those things that will get better overtime.

Anyway here are some things that help me. Knowing that sometimes the thought of something can be worse than doing it. Knowing that having a school schedule will allow be to be around my son during holidays and in the summer. Knowing that being away from him will help me to appreciate the time I do have with him. Knowing that his being away from me will help expose him to different things he may not have had the chance of learning from me. Knowing his being away from me may help him to develop greater social skills. Knowing that I won’t only miss the good stuff but I’ll miss the bad stuff too (even though the bad stuff isn’t that bad).

Good luck!