Labor & Visitors! Need your opinions

[littleboyblue]

I didn't want anyone to even know I had gone into the hospital. I wanted to call people the day after the baby was born.

My husband wouldn't let me.

Thankfully I had an unscheduled c-section so I didn't have to hurt anyone's feelings and tell them to get out. Although I would have if need be. There are some things that are so precious that I don't want to experience with people scurrying around.

[DanielsMom]

You are def not out of line by wanting to call people later on. I had my fiance his mom, dad and sister in the room while I was in labor...and his mom, sister and dad wouldnt leave when I was being checked they stayed and didnt even really pay attention to me they were too fixed on the TV and talking about me like i wasnt even there, they were more of a burdon than anything.

The other thing is dont be too set on things, when you get there you may change your mind on somethings. Like who you want there and everything so this is not one of those things that you get a plan and stick to it. The other thing is right after I delivered since it was late evening everyone wanted to automatically come in and see and hold the baby so they could go home. That is def something I regret. I wished I would have had the time to let everything set in before letting people take my brand new bundle of joy away from me. But hey, its your plan you do what your heart tells you. Really the final decision will be up to you, when the time comes. Just make sure its what you want!

[haleymom07]

i would definately take an hour for you the baby and hubby to all get acquainted. i just had a baby in december and we had no alone time at all as a family all that did was stress me out and make me upset(hormones helped) also if the hospital has designated nap times for new mommies use it. trust me it will make all the difference in the world. definately dont call people until you are in active labor that will help you focus on what you are there for. good luck on a healthy pregnancy and baby

[sherriann]

If you do decide on having visitors at ANY time since you do not know how you will really feel about the labor, delivery, and company the best idea that my hopsital gave to me about having visitors was a code word. The whole hospital labor staff used the same phrase, and if I had asked for the item (that the hospital didn't even have) then my husband and the nurse staff would know that I wanted/needed everyone out of the room. Check to see if your hopspital has this type of code. If not, come up with one on your own that only you and your husband know, but let your labor nurse in on the word/phrase too so that if you do say it then they know that it is time to get family and friends out. This way no feelings get hurt that you have to deal with for possibly years to come as long as the secret never gets out. Also, pushy families usually don't argue with staff. And remember it is ALWAYS your choice to have someone leave that you had thought you wanted if you change your mind for whatever reason.

[eckomami9217]

i was 18 when i had my daughter so i wanted my mom to be in the delivery room because i was nervous but i also i had my daughters father in there too. i had my daughter at 11:54 pm so no one else was there. everyone had to wait to see adriana until the next day so i didnt really have to deal with visitors at that moment.

[MomofBrendy]

CONGRATS ON THE PREGNANCY!!!! I am not sure how your friends and family felt but mine chose to stay away because my family couldn't handle seeing me in pain. My friends just didn't want the mental picture It is up to you. I would really "play it by ear". You may not want everyone in there when the real labor starts. ALSO, by flexible on the birth plan. Mine went totally askew!! I ended up with a c section after 36 hours of labor. That was DEFINATELY not in the plan. GOOD LUCK

[Katie_0608]

I had way too many people in the labor room with me. My mom had to be there. But my boyfriend's mom is always the type to take over. My boyfriend called her and she rushed over to the hospital and brought his sister with too. I didn't want to upset anyone, but i didn't want them to be there either. There was too much going on and all i remember was faces everywhere. It was way too overwhelming. I am pregnant with my second one now. So, this time, my mom is going to be watching my daughter and my boyfriend and I will be the only ones in the labor room and we're not going to tell anyone anything until the baby is born. I would say 2 people is okay, and anymore than that, i'm not sure. I didn't like it.

[ra11en]

Like others have said, all up to you and what you want. It is about you, your SO, and your baby during that special time.

I knew I didn't want anyone else around when I was going through labor. It was so hard on my MIL who had been in the room with all her grandchildrens' births. My twin sister flew in for the labor and also wanted to be there. I refused to allow anyone but my husband in the room when I finally got down to delivery. And I made sure everyone knew it ahead of time so it wasn't a shock. However, even though she knew it, my dear MIL brought like 20 relatives with her to the hospital. I wouldn't budge on my decision, and they graciously accepted my decision. It was way too personal a time for me to bend to what others wanted, and I didn't feel the least bit guilty about it. I know the next time (if there is one) I will do the same thing. I don't regret it a bit. I had a complicated pregnancy and birth, and it really helped to be able to relax at least that much, knowing no one but my husband was seeing me in all my undignified glory.

Know your birth plan, but prepared to change it as well. I almost had an emergency c-section which I didn't even prepare for mentally, so know that plans change. At least think about what you'll do if your plan changes.

Good luck and big congrats on the bundle of joy you're about to give birth to!!!

[Singswt7]

The hospital where I delivered only let two people in the room during labor so I didn't have to worry abotu hurting in laws and family feelings. I just had the father in with me which was all I needed or wanted. When I walked around I would stop in the waiting room for a couple of minutes (mine was a long labor) So I could muster up enough pleasantness for those couple of minutes and be tired and cranky when it was just him and I.

[sweetdenny1]

I'll never forget when I had my son. I thought it would be a good idea to have my entire family in the delivery room with me to share the experience. However, when I figured out that I would probably poop when pushing, I quickly changed my mind. There was just my boyfriend in the room with me. Honestly, I didn't want visitors at all until I got home, but my boyfriend's mom didn't get the memo and showed up the night I had the baby( I had him in the afternoon) and would not leave! Everyone else came and left after about 15 mins, but she camped out for hours! It was probably the worst experience I've ever had. Now that I'm pregnant again, we're not gonna let her know till I'm home! You do alot of hard work when having a baby, so you are entitled to rest and relaxation while in the hospital. Its all about what makes you happy and comfortable.