should we wait or not?

[Tasha5]

I am 23, been married for 3 years, hubby is 26. I have just finished my Master's degree, hubby will be done with his bachelor's at the end of this year. I really really want to have a baby!!! (I knew from 16 that I wanted to be a mom). We have been to many places, but we do not like clubs, drinking, etc.

I do plan on staying at home with a baby till he/she is 3 y.o (because i know how important it is for a child's development to be with his mom during those years...and i do not trust childcare). My profession is very demanding and i want to make a career eventually... with this economy, i have hard time finding a job (I'm in teaching), and I have a very bad feeling that i won't be able to land a job even for the next school year (hiring freeze)......

What do you think? Is it better to wait a few years, try to get a job, then take 3 years off... or just go ahead and have one next year, then when it's 3 y.o. start a career? Trying to have a job of my dreams and hopefully getting situated better, or baby first?

I know it's our decision, but i'd like to hear your ideas/advice (as I discussed it only with my hubby, other family memebers would say I'm crazy)

P.S. I definitely want to have a first baby max by age 26.

[Kerisweetpea]

if it were me i would say go for it! i had my first son at 23 and my hubby was 28, i just found out that im pregnant with #2, i would say start family now and career in 3yrs especially if its gonna take you a little while to get a job due to the hiring freeze!
and i was like you i LOVE kids and i always knew i wanted them!
it sounds like to me it would be the perfect time to have one, but thats just me and you are right in the end its your's and your hubbys decision!

Good Luck hope i helped some

[Tasha5]

Thank you so much!!!!!

I'm just sooo afraid that if we decide to wait, it will be a waste of time...I've been trying to get ANY job in the school system (and in several states), but no luck at all! I mean there's no guarantees that I would find any job at all in the nearest couple of years...... 3 years may pass and we may be in no better situation than now (and still without a baby).

My main concern right now is getting a medical insurance for me.... other than that, I would love to have one soon

[Kerisweetpea]

i totally understand, and god forbid anything like this would happen but you might not get pregnant right away, some women it happens right away and others it takes awhile. Now i dont want to worry you im not here to do that, i just wanted to put that in the back of your mind.
i dont know what state you are in but im in Michigan and i know here they will help you with the cost and everything, and if its a big problem you could always check on state help, i never used it so i dont know how it works but i know people who have and they only have to pay a small % of the bill. so thats an option too!
But good Luck and keep us updated on what you decide.

[APEMBERTON]

I agree w/ Keri .. I would start trying now!! We have been TTC for almost a year now w/ no luck.. so I hope that doesn't happen to you , but you never know!! My insurance won't pick up the maternity part until this June , but we are trying anyways & if in the meantime we do get preggo we will either use state stuff or if you google maternity insurance & pick that up until my current coverage kicks in!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
ps/ The state type insurance(medicare) is normally w/ new doctors who just got out of medical school(it is like their internship) so they don't have alot of experience, but they are full of up-to -date technology & they are fresh out of medical school!!!!

[Tasha5]

Thank you!!!!!

My hubby doesn't want to start TTC right now . He suggested to wait till the end of this summer (then he'd have only 1 semester left till finishing his college).

I wanted to try to buy an insurance in advance... though we cannot afford to pay much for it right now. I guess i have 8 months for research )).

Oh, and I was also thinking about how hard it can be to get pregnant... my doctor recommended that i do not postpone having babies for too long....it took my grandparents 10 years to make my aunt

[Kerisweetpea]

WOW 10 yrs! thats a long time! i guess im not sure if its genetic on how long it takes women to get pregnant but i would seriously take that into consideration!
and with you hubby i would maybe talk to him and tell him that it might not happen right away that you think you guys should start trying. or maybe start in a month or 2, i wouldnt wait to long cause you do want to start your career at some point!
but i would still do research right now and hopefully your hubby will come around soon.
Good Luck and let us know how it turns out.

[Aria]

This is crazy, I'm going through pretty much the exact same thing right now. I'm 24, just finished my BS in biochemistry and have always felt I need to keep going until I have a steady career and not until then should I worry about babies. But recently, I have had baby fever which has been intensified by the difficulty of finding a job these days. My husband is 26 and in a well paying career right now so logistically it is feasible, not to mention he wants to have kids now, but I'm not positive yet. I know a baby changes everything and I'm afraid once I have one I'll be less motivated to get back into a career, especially if I haven't started one yet. The countering factor here is that I had ovarian cancer at 21, and lost an ovary; I feel like if I don't start trying soon I may lose any fertility I have left before I have a baby. It's an unwarranted fear, really, but it's very real for me.
At this point, We are actually planning on conceiving within the next few months, I'm hoping to have a job before then so that I'll have that career started at least. We were going to try this month but I "chickened out" last minute...I am off the pills though.
Anyway my thought is you should go for it, a teaching career can be picked up any time.

[craftyashley]

I would get the insurance squared away and then go for it. Pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition. I would say go for it, then get a job after the three years. In this economy, it will be pretty hard to find a job anyway, might as well have the baby!

[Tasha5]

we decided to wait till April ) i just have to find an insurance asap ))