Teen Pregnancy...

[brandie1127]

I didn't want to say it, but we all make grammatical errors from time to time when we post, but without me pointing any direct fingers. Some people should spend the time to reread what they are writing, grammatical errors are one thing but typing in what is barely recongnizable english, is really annoying. Especially when you call other people ignorant and tout how educated you are.

[marlalovesmaury]

Okay I will drop the subject, but I just have to say one more thing. I might be stuck up (in fact I know I am)...but I'm not a monster. If my children ever had a learning disability or a physical ailment I would not think anything less of them. Why would anyone think that I would? I expect excellence but only if there is nothing emotionally or physically wrong with them. I don't think there's anything wrong with expecting excellence! I feel terrible for parents who have mentally disabled children, it must be a terrible burden on their families.

We all come from different areas of the world on these boards, and were all raised VERY differently. What some think is perfectly normal behavior others think is crazy, and that's understandable. I was raised in an area of the world where teen pregnancies are sparse, where private schools outnumber the public ones, and where many teens go to Ivy League schools when they graduate high school. Yes, I'm stuck up. Yes, I'm wealthy. Yes, I'm 21 and happily married with a huge house. Yes, my children will go to private school and I will expect the best. You all would expect the same thing if it is what you grew up with.

I'm sorry this thread has strayed so far from the original post.

[marlalovesmaury]

Oh, I forgot where I was going with that last sentence..."I'm sorry this thread has strayed so far from the original post..."

I guess that wherever the girls on the Tyra Banks show are from, it is acceptable and even expected that they will have children as teenagers. That's just their world, and they don't know what life is like anywhere else. I wouldn't know how to deal in rural Kansas just like they wouldn't know what to do in northern NJ.

[jasmine89]

just becuz the girls on the tyra banks show is very unknowlegable about kids, that do not mean all teens are, by you judging how good of a mother by someones age is crazy, becuz there are alot of bad moms out there that are in there 20-30, i never knew there was a specfic age to have kids but i do know by 30 you clock is ticking down [not to be rude] but im a damn good mother, yes im young an it might be a lil harder but im going to make it i got goals, just like you, but i also got a baby gurl to raise

[jasmine89]

why do you feel the need to brag?

[barbieuhboo]

There are some teens that are not educated on the pregnancy subject but that does not mean all "teens" are not and dont know the risks, things just happen, and if it does it was meant to be. I am 39 weeks pregnant and Im due on Jan. 31 I am 17 years old. I have never felt the need to prove myself to anyone since being pregnant but yet me and my fiance both have jobs got our own place and have been very well off. I know I will be a good mom. Also my sister got pregnant at 15 almost 16 and she is now 19 and doing great!

[GreenPixie]

Have you ever seen to anyone admitting on these forums to being a bad parent? Not to pick on anyone specifically but a trend I have seen in these forms, for all kinds of topics, is for people to justify what they are saying by adding ‘and I am a good parent/mother/father’ to the end of it. But no one ever admits to or thinks they are a bad parent. Everyone believes they are a good parent. But there are bad parents out there so some of the people believing they are good parents are really bad parents. So just saying you are a good parent on a forum is never ever going to convince someone you have never met that you are in fact a good parent. So adding ‘I am a good parent’ to an argument is kind of pointless with out some evidence. The original topic of this post was that 13 year olds’s wanting to have babies was shocking. I’m shocked by it so I will go ahead agree with that. However it has seemed to turn in to teens having to defend their ability to be good parents. But you can’t convince someone you have never met you are a good parent. So I really am curious as to why it matters to you what random people think about your general demographic? Not in a sarcastic way at all I just like to understand things and don’t quite understand this so I would love some honest replies.

[brandie1127]

Oh, I forgot where I was going with that last sentence..."I'm sorry this thread has strayed so far from the original post..."

I guess that wherever the girls on the Tyra Banks show are from, it is acceptable and even expected that they will have children as teenagers. That's just their world, and they don't know what life is like anywhere else. I wouldn't know how to deal in rural Kansas just like they wouldn't know what to do in northern NJ.

Thats so funny that you said Northern NJ. When people ask me where I'm from I always say South Jersey and they respond with ... did NJ split into two states? I always reply with no but the North and the Southern part of NJ are SO different! And without offending you, you are right! Demographically you guys are a bit snobby and I'm sure you barely see any teen pregnancies ( no to mention it is a loaded part of the state with a ton of private school and EVERYONE is expected to attend an IVY league college) Its so different here! Its the norm for these girls to want to have babies so young and its so sad. They have no clue what the world has to offer them and how limited your life becomes once you have children at any age!

[Mamaof1]

Have you ever seen to anyone admitting on these forums to being a bad parent? Not to pick on anyone specifically but a trend I have seen in these forms, for all kinds of topics, is for people to justify what they are saying by adding ‘and I am a good parent/mother/father’ to the end of it. But no one ever admits to or thinks they are a bad parent. Everyone believes they are a good parent. But there are bad parents out there so some of the people believing they are good parents are really bad parents. So just saying you are a good parent on a forum is never ever going to convince someone you have never met that you are in fact a good parent. So adding ‘I am a good parent’ to an argument is kind of pointless with out some evidence. The original topic of this post was that 13 year olds’s wanting to have babies was shocking. I’m shocked by it so I will go ahead agree with that. However it has seemed to turn in to teens having to defend their ability to be good parents. But you can’t convince someone you have never met you are a good parent. So I really am curious as to why it matters to you what random people think about your general demographic? Not in a sarcastic way at all I just like to understand things and don’t quite understand this so I would love some honest replies.

Thank you GreenPixie, very good point! I agree that it is shocking that these very young girls are wanting to get pregnant. I consider it highly selfish for a 13 year old to purposefully get pregnant. What exactly can they offer a baby? They themselves have basically no life experience, no job, no financial stability, a possible unstable home life. They can't drive their babies to the doctors, pay for their medical bills, afford to buy them the proper foods...do ANYTHING really! So then it falls on the grandparents or other family members or the state to raise the baby that will grow up with possible issues because of the way it was brought into this world. All because of what? So a young girl could feel validated and LOVED? Great. I had my daughter at 17 and she is loved, but it is HARD. I've struggled to work to make enough money to provide the essentials, struggled to get through school, struggled to find the balance between being a mommy, worker and student. It would of have been easier if I had her later in life, I would've gotten through school, had more money in my back account, had more life experience under my belt which possibly could help me know how to handle some situations with her better, not been a single mom...(but I'm a great mom!) lol Ok, rant over!

[shadowanna]

I feel I should chime in here. I got pregnant with my first baby at 16. It was only the second time I ever had sex, and yes, we did use a condom. I made the choice to give her up for adoption. It was a hard choice, but I knew it was the right one. Oh, and to the lady talking about how this doesn't happen in private schools: I got pregnant while attending an all-girls Catholic school. She is 12 now, lives in another state, and has lived the life of a princess.

I got pregnant again at 19 and had my son at 20. I married the father, dispite his history of cheating, and got pregnant again 3 months after my son was born. (The natral family planning method only works if your husband agrees to not have sex with you during the required times.) Long story short, I left my abusive, cheating husband when my kids were 2 and 3. I moved across the country from him and he hasn't seen the kids or me since the day I left. Thank God for that!

I met a wonderful man shortly after I moved. I got pregnant again at 25. She is my angel. I can say from personal experience that I was a much better mom at 25, than I was at 20 and 21. There is certain maturity that can only be reached by life experience. I won't say I was a bad mom to my older two, but I know I am a better mom to my younger one. I have more paitence, more understanding, and more ability to do what is needed.

It took me 3 trys and 4 years to get my AA degree with 3 kids to take care of, but I am now 6 classes away from my second AA degree. (I got pregnant with my 3rd during my second year of college.) College would have been so much easier if I didn't have 3 kids to care for.

Life as a young mother has been very hard. My children have problems that they are in counciling for because I exposed them to an abusive father, and moved them halfway across the country from everything they knew. I wasn't the mother I should have been beacuse I had my own problems to deal with, and I didn't always put them first.

My opinion of teen age mothers, even those at 18 or 19, is that they may think they are doing well, but many aren't. As they grow and mature, they will see that they could have done better if they had waited. There are certain things that only life experience will teach you, and certain maturity that only comes with age.