3 yr old sneaking into our bed all night

[mom2boyz75]

I need some advice badly!! My son will be 3 next month. We switched him to a twin bed about 1.5 months ago. He was content in his crib until then, and so were we until he started climbing out. 2 days of that and we set up the twin. The first night was great....8 p.m. to 7 a.m.! It was all downhill from there. Every other night he sneaks into our bed in the middle of the night...anytime from 12:30 to 4:30 a.m and always at least twice! I keep putting him back when I realize it...and he keeps sneaking back in. FIVE times last night. I am so tired and this has been going on for over a month. We have tried a babygate. He climbs over it. Tried one on top of the other. He pounds on the top one until it come loose and crawls through the middle of them. I know I can put a gate up that he can't move that attaches to the wall, but 2 of them on top of each other? I really don't want to ruin the wood in the doorway, and would this work during the day? He has a lock on his door, but I can't do that. We need our sleep and so does he. I think his molars are coming in. Lately he has been chewing on his shirts, mittens, etc,and some of his toys when he hasn't done that since he was one. Sometimes he says his teeth hurt, but not very much. His gums were puffy a month ago but no longer are. I have given tylenol before bed...anbesol...nothing helps him sleep through the night. HELP!! I'm sure the supernanny would say to be persistent and keep the faith and don't stop til it works and don't speak to him when putting him back to bed, whether it's one time or 100...but it's been over a month!! UGH! Any advice would be awesome...I am at my wits end here!! Thanks in advance! ~ Lisa

[Saphira]

Well... I can't really give you advice... one of the other moms would be better suited for that. But I can tell you that my boyfriend Charles used to sneak into his parents bedroom at night. Until they divorced and his dad remarried. His stepmom didn't think an 8 year old should be sleeping in bed with them. So one night, Charles sneaks across the room and tries the door.

It's locked but his dad started making noises. So Charles is in a panic and almost about to cry saying, "Daddy! I think there's a bear out here!" His dad makes more noises and says, "You better get to your room son!" And so Charles shakes the door a little more, and with one more roar, Charles flies down the hall to his room saying, "NIGHT DADDY!!!!!" And slammed his door.

...

I am sorry to hear about your predicament. I'd be pulling my hair out. I haven't known anyone to switch a 3 year old to a twin bed. Charles' mom just got the twins twin size beds, but they're almost 5. I do hope another mom can help you out better! A 3 year old is a little more delicate than an 8 year old... :[

[MommaC]

I think he's old enough. And I know you're totally worn out, but you do need to be persistent if you want to "win". Locking him in might seem extreme, but what about putting a safety knob on the inside of his door with the door shut. Same concept--he won't be able to open it, but maybe it seems less harsh on a psychological level? Whatever you can do to teach him it's not okay to leave his room at night (within reason), is what you need to do. You can use a reward chart (a sticker for every night he stays in bed...a prize when he finishes a row of stickers--he's young, so start by requiring only a couple of stickers and slowly up the ante). You can use consequences; if he comes out of his bed at night, he's punished. You can try a bed alarm (I've honestly only seen them in nursing homes) to alert you when he's gotten out of bed. Whatever you choose, explain it to him before bed. Then you MUST follow through consistently. You're tired, but you're going to continue to be tired until you persevere and conquer. Good luck!

[moxi]

ok i understand this my 3 year old has always snuck into the bed with me and my husband but i think locking him in his room is just a little harsh ( it's mean, im sorry) think about it from your childs point of view
he wakes up in a dark room alone
at three this can be quite terrifying
and locking him in his room and just leaving him there ? thats brutal
i say do what your heart tells you to do
my husband doesnt like to wake up with my little one in the bed but i need sleep and as long as my son isnt interrupting something i see no harm in it
now at 8 thats a different story
but honestly my approach to parenting is putting my self in my childs shoes and remembering what it was like to be his age

[tpubgu]

I have this same problem. Sometimes I lay down with him in his bed and I sneak out later. This is heavenly some nights and inconvenient other nights. After I go to bed in my own bed, if I hear him wake up I'll run into his bed and get him settled even if it means laying down with him again. This at least gets him used to only sleeping in his own bed. Sometimes now he'll go for being tucked in with a nightlight and a promise to come back. Then I come back when he's still awake and promise to come back again. Then I go to my own bed. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. I'm terrible inconsistent on this since my husband works one month of days and one month of nights. I like to snuggle with him and I know time is limited. HOWEVER, next fall he starts preschool and I need to get into a good routine. I'm also looking for answers.

[4ofus&nomore]

o.k. I dont see a problem here. Wither you keep up with what you are doing "getting no sleep" or you let him crawl into your bed on the nights he wakes up and you all get sleep. we have two 11 and 4. Our 11 year old slept with us until she was 3. She just weaned herself and our 4 year old goes to his bed everynight at 9p.m. and sometimes around 6 or 6:30 a.m. he crawls into our bed and sleep until about 8 a.m. Its not everynight but I have noticed that the next day out of the blue he will say something like mom do you know what I dreamed last night or mom my feet hurt last night...ect. I think he is going through some changes and feels like he needs you. I would try the reward sticker chart but I honestly think that when you stop making it a BIG deal he will wean himself from it and sleep all night. I love supernanny but come on he is sleeping from 8p.m. til early morning thats several hours by himself in a new bed where everything in his room looks different because he is not in a crib. Do what your gut is telling you.

[tpubgu]

So they WILL want to sleep on their own eventually? I'm happy to hear that. I guess it's not such a big deal then.

[lismom2]

Yeah, my daughter (3 years old) is going through another "sleep in mommy's bed" phase. It comes and goes. Most nights she will sleep in her own twin bed, but sometimes she comes in early in the morning and sleeps in mine. Don't worry about it too much and it will pass. Also, something I sometimes do is fix a pallet or use her fold up princess bed next to mine. That way she's still in the same room, but in her own sleep spot if she needs it.

[DominicMomma]

I love the idea of making a little bed beside your own. I have a 3 year old that has only known sleeping with me. I'm a single mom and it was just convenient after the crib to put him in bed with me. However I am trying to get him used to sleeping alone, and that is like a full time job in itself.
I need to also get myself trained to stop letting him get in bed with me; but I am guilty to loving a warm baby snuggle in the mornings
I'm going to try out the bed beside my own bed and see how that works. I'm scared of raising a mommas-boy but want him to still feel loved.

[luckymama2]

Ok, I have a 3.5yr old daughter and she has never slept in bed with us except for when she was really little and teething/ill. And at about 2 even when sick she refused to sleep in our bed as she was so used to her own room. If she needed me I would sit with her in her room and as she got older I'll let her know there is a time limit (say 10 minutes of snuggling or one more story) and thats that. she doesn't even cry or get out of bed. She just knows as its been taught since the very beginning. As a newborn she slept in a bassinet in my room but never ever in the bed even when colic kept us up all night long. I just didnt feel it was worth her getting that habit. And I am soooooooo happy. She is now in her own big girl bed (we switched her a few months after she turned 2) and she has never gotten out of it, not even when we first put her in it. If she needs me she calls me and I will come to her to comfort her and take care of her needs. But that doesnt happen very often.

I think you need to be consistent. Let him know the nighttime rules: no sleeping in mommy's and daddy's bed. Let him know if he needs you you WILL come to him and then do so. He may need some comfort during this transition of getting a big boy bed. Snuggle with him, read him stories, etc. Give him a limit of time or stories and then let him know you will be going to your room and that he needs to stay in his. Give him a night-light and let him have some stuffed animals in his bed. My daughter enjoys when I allow her to have some books in her bed so she can look at them on nights she is unable to sleep easily. You could even take him to that build-a-bear place to make a special night-time buddy to sleep with! My daughter has one and she loves it!