Totally confused

[ldinsmore]

What is up with this? I pick up my 14 1/2 mo. old son from day care, the minute we get home he starts in with crying over everything. Some night he won't eat what I have prepared. I go to change him or put his p.j.'s on he fights me all the way through? I have tried talking him through it, nothing works.

[Saphira]

It might be cause he was at day care all day. It could be a cry for more attention from his mommy! Maybe you should try doing an activity after you pick him up from day care. Take him to the park? Or if it's too late for that, break out the colored pencils and crayons and some coloring books.

Or it could be a different type of discipline used at the day care. So maybe he gets time out's there, or some form of punishment for doing something like screaming and being cranky. So then when he gets home, he gets no form of punishment, and he's testing the boundaries.

It could also just be that he's cranky. Do they nap at the day care? If not, maybe he gets home and he's tired and anxious and maybe even stressed out. So he just takes it out on you, cuz you're mommy and he doesn't know any better.

Try something a little different after day care next time. Like take him to grandma and grandpa's, or seriously just spend quality fun time with him. Catch up on household chores the next day.

[eniese]

Sometimes they're just overtired after daycare. Many daycares just have one naptime for toddlers, but at 14 months, that may not be quite enough. One thing we found that helped was having some quieter time right when we get home. A few minutes of a video or a book seems to help set the stage for a better evening. Also, other than cooking dinner, the evening is for my son until he goes to bed. We wait on other stuff until after. If you think he might just be overtired, try putting him to bed a little earlier (30 mins or so) and see if that helps after a few days. If you pick him up early enough, you could even try to sneak in a little nap for him before dinner.

As far as the eating goes, how does he eat at daycare? He may be filling up at lunch and snack time and just not be that hungry in the evening. At 14 months, he also could be teething which can affect how he eats.

[ra11en]

My DD (also full time in daycare) started the same behavior around 15 mos old. It was a combination of being overly tired from all the activity at daycare and the start of the terrible 2's according to my pediatrician. I found a few things that helped; a good healthy snack as soon as we got home (apple, banana, cherrios, etc), spending about 20 minutes together when we first got home (no tv, no chores, just one on one time), and sometimes when it was really bad we hit the bath tub for the nightly bath earlier than normal so she could just relax in the warm tub. My DD got worse before she got better, and it really frayed us for a while but it too passed in short enough time. Remain consistent, try not to give in just for some peace. I know, easier said than done.

It got so difficult with my DD that I tried to make dinners for the week during the weekend so all I had to do was heat it up. My DD had her biggest meltdowns when I tried to cook, it was awful.

Like eniese said, most everything I used to do in the evenings got pushed aside and other than making dinner my attention was devoted to the moody toddler. Although it was frustrating not doing housework that was screaming at me to get done in the evenings, it was worth it to just spend time with my DD. Housework was still there on the weekends. Hehehehehe.

And when she didnt want to eat what I gave her, I allowed her to go hungry. They are learning control, preferences, and boundaries so much at this age and I wanted her to learn our rules. I even discussed that philosophy with my pediatrician and she agreed; they don't starve themselves at this age. I'm the parent and I decide what food is put on the table for meals/snacks, I am not a short order cook. When they're hungry, they will eat. I'm happy to say she came out of it around 24mos, is almost always a true delight to be around, and didn't starve even a little bit.

Good luck!!