mother in law in delivery room?

[fenfen426]

I can understand how you would only want your mom and husband in the delivery room...you are uncomfortable...tired....amxious...and a whole bunch of emotions going on.....When I was pregnant with my first daughter I asked my MIL if she wanted to be in the delivery room....I thought she would say no, since she is not my mom, but she was excited that I asked her since my SIL had 2 C-sections and she wasn't able to be in there for them....I thought it would be awkward, but she and my mom were both absolutley wonderful about it...they stayed out of the way...they rubbed my feet or back if my husband needed a break...my MIL was the first one to give me ice chips....and once I started pushing she was the one holding my mom's hand, because my mom was upset to see me in pain.....she was also there when I had my second daughter, and my SIL was in the room too, by accident since it happended so fast.....I am glad they were there....because it helped me to see her offering support to me,my husband and my mom.....you also have to remember....yes she did deliver your husband.....but she was so tired and in pain that she probably doesn't remember it, because back in the 70's they knocked you and you didn't get to hold the baby like you do now....so I would reconsider not having her there.....it will also strengthen her bound with your child....and it's a natural act....alot of cultures wouldn't give you a choice, it's expected.....Good Luck with the delivery and whatever choice you and your husband make....

[brandie1127]

I agree with Lena. I know that its an intimate experience between you and your mother and her grandchild. But it is his mother and her grandchild too. I think its a wonderful bonding experience to let both grandmothers be in the room for the birth. My Mil will be holding one leg and my grandmother will be holding the other. Heres the best part They HATE each other! LOL Fun for me! But even though his mother gets on my nerves I would never want to rob her of that special moment of seeing her granddaughter enter the world.

As far as modesty goes, lets be real its no longer your Giney. Its some wierd portal to another world like something out of a psy-fi movie. You will have multiple doctors and nurses that you don't know sticking their hands up there and "checking it out" while your legs are WIDE OPEN.

Of course you shouldn't be guilted into anything, but I would really consider the cost vs the gain before you tell your MIL no. I just couldnt hurt my MIL's feelings like that. Even though shes a total pain in the ass.

You could always consider not having either mom. Just making it an intimate moment between you and DH. thats what I originally wanted but I was begged by my grandmom to be in there and I KNOW his mom would have been real hurt if my grandmom was in there and I told her no.

[brandie1127]

I just wanted to add that just like its a special moment between you and your mom - don't discount that its a special moment between your son and his mommy too!

[newmommy010206]

With my first, I had my husband, Mother, Mother-in-law, and my sister in the room. I was glad to have all the support since I needed it, hard delivery. My mother, mil, and sister all took turns holding my right leg and my husband had my left. You would think they all had to go through the labor with how exhausted they were afterward But if it weren't for my mil, she stuck up for me when the doctor mentioned a c-section, I wouldn't have had the birth I wanted! Now that I'm pregnant again it will only be my husband and I unless circumstances get me to ask for my mom in there.

[supermommy]

I had both my mother and his mother and my husband in the room when I gave birth to our first son. It didnt brother me because they both helped out alot when I was scared about pushing and all that. With my 2nd son it was only my husband and it was nice to just have that time with him to share something together that know one could take from us. Now I have our 3rd and I want my husdand and my sister in law in the room with us this time. I dont want any mothers. Its just how you want it. Its your child and your childbirth so go with what you feel you can handle.

[tifflynn]

When i was pregnant my mil said she HAD to be in the delivery room. There was no asking me. So i let her in. It was a huge mistake. My husband, sister, grandma and mil were all in the room. It was crazy. She was telling everyone what to do and arguing with the doc. And she took pictures that i didnt even want to see of myself, and showed them to EVERYONE when they came in the room to see my son. She even printed them off. I didnt even know she had taken them untill she gave me a copy! It was horrible. So anyway if you have a bad feeling about it or just dont feel comfortably just tell her no. I know it is hard but i sure wish i would have stood up for my self and told my mil that i didnt feel comfortable. She wont be in there again thats for sure.