I love that my two y/o loves his dad, but I'm starting to almost worry I'm doing something wrong. For the past year my son has had a strong preference to my husband. If we are both home, he always says "Daddy do it." If my husband is not home, there is no problem, which is the one saving grace for me. But when we are all together, my son always goes to my husband first. He only wants him to put him to bed too. He actually screams if we are both home and I try to put him to bed.
I will say that I am more firm with him than my husband, but I also shower him with more hugs, kisses and other affection than my hubby. I'm not implying it's a contest, I just can't figure out why he has such a strong preference. Anyone else have a similar problem? I have lots of friends with kids the same age and none have as much of a connection to their dad, it's almost always "mom's touch" that works. I joke that our next kid will be a momma's boy, but I really am starting to wonder if it's me.
HELP! *feeling sad and confused*
We have a similar situation only the players are reversed! I work full time and my husband stays home with our daughter. She's does that same thing as your son, only she wants me! There are certain things that she only wants me to handle - bath time, if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she won't let my husband get her, etc. I think part of it is routine - I usually get her in the middle of the night because my husband doesn't hear anything! I usually give her a bath and put her to bed because I see so little of her during the day - I want to be as involved as I can at night. She does the same thing as your son - she won't let my husband do these things. I think knowing that the same person will be there is somewhat comforting to her - she has a schedule and she understands what's going on. That might be part of what is happening with you son - he's comforted by routine. My husband and I are trying to get my daughter to be ok with both parents at bed time, at bath time, etc. My husband will tag along and help me with her bath and in generally be more involved. Hopefully, something similar might help your son be more open to either parents involvement. Although I'm on the opposite end, I understand your frustration. He still loves you - he's might just be trying to make sense of the world around him!
I'm sure you're not doing anything wrong. Do you think he feels he doesn't get enough time with Dad? Kids deal with things in different ways. When they feel they don't get enough time with a parent, some become more clingy to that parent (trying to soak up all the attention they can when possible and maybe try to sway that parent to spend more time with them) while others respond with rejection (cold shoulder). Just a thought. I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds like you do a good job caring for him and he still accepts you. Support his love for Daddy. Help him make special cards to put in Daddy's lunch box and welcome-home banners and big block towers to show Daddy. Enjoy the break it gives you...my daughter is in a mommy-only phase, and it's wearing me out a bit. Support the bond. Try not to take the preference personally.
That is a normal disposition at his age, and it will reverse in the next couple of years to only wanting YOU to do what he used to only want Daddy to do. My DD is extremely all about Mommy, and I love it. But, I can see how it gets to my DH when she tells him "No, Mommy do it" when he tries to give her a bath or put her to bed or read her a book. It is very natural, but should also be watched. Make sure you spend one on one time with him even in instances where he insists on Daddy. I've noticed that the more I insist on DD spending time with DH the more time she wants to spend with him. We've always alternated bedtime/bath time - one night he does bath and I do bedtime, the next night we reverse - so even when our DD insists I do the bath and then that I do the bed time, we stick to our guns and let her know WE decide, not her. Find special one on one moments that you can spend with your son on a daily basis, even it is just a book when you get home.
This article will make you feel better!!!
I know in my house both children go back and forth as to who they prefer....and it always evens out!!! My oldest does not do it much anymore as she is sweet to both of us!!!