Dealing w/ a MIL who won't stop smoking

[FirstTimeMommy20]

Hello!!

I am suppose to have my daughter sometime soon... My due date is 12/9/12 and we are constantly fighting this battle with my mother-in-law about smoking around the baby! They are coming down 1/5/13 and I am SO tired of fighting with her... Today, I called her to talk to her about it and asked her if she was going to ONLY smoke her e-cig while visiting us since they are staying IN OUR HOME (they are from NYC and don't visit often) and she said, yes, she was going to ONLY smoke the e-cig and outside. I was more than happy with that answer. I also told them that I wanted them to shower/let me wash their clothes with our detergents before they held the baby since they are flying and I don't want the germs and left over smoke smell left on their clothes while holding my new born baby... She said, "no big deal, we can do that!"

I was so surprised it was so easy but then my husband calls them tonight to speak to them, just catch up and everything and she tells him... "Im going to smoke real cigs outside only and change my shirt and wash my hands after each one."

Now, I have to call and deal with her again tomorrow and I just don't understand why she would lie to me...

Any advice on how to deal with this? I am so fed up with her constantly fighting us. She doesn't care about what we want and she thinks that "doctors exaggerate how bad smoke is." Have any of you moms dealt with this?

My husband tries so hard to deal with her but he is a very anxious person and doesn't do well under stress and already has a shaky relationship with her so, it has to be me who deals with it.

Please, help?

[Addie25]

This is how I see it. You are the mother. You are your child's only advocate. Cigarette smoke can cause serious issues with babies (and people in general).

My BIL smokes. I told him exactly what our doctor said. He is not to smoke when he visits. Changing the shirt and washing the hands is not good enough because it goes into the hair and skin on the rest of the exposed body. It is very dangerous for babies.

If she can not handle this then she shouldn't come. It is hard but like I said, you are your child's only advocate. If you don't protect him/her, who will.

[Addie25]

This is how I see it. You are the mother. You are your child's only advocate. Cigarette smoke can cause serious issues with babies (and people in general).

My BIL smokes. I told him exactly what our doctor said. He is not to smoke when he visits. Changing the shirt and washing the hands is not good enough because it goes into the hair and skin on the rest of the exposed body. It is very dangerous for babies.

If she can not handle this then she shouldn't come. It is hard but like I said, you are your child's only advocate. If you don't protect him/her, who will.

[Nina47]

Oh man. I am so sorry! I have been there before, and it's not easy!! It is your house though and I'd put my foot down and demand that for your baby's health and everyone around you, she cannot smoke nearby and must respect your wishes!

[zuneraserena]

I do not think any thing is more important then your child's health. Take a stand for what you believe is right for your child. Good Luck
Zunera-Serena.com