I am a 25 year old woman who has been dating an older man who happens to be a part time dad. Our relationship is very strong and we have both come to the conclusion that this is a relationship that is going to last. I don't mind the fact that he has 2 girls, ages 5 and 6. I like the fact that he has a civil relationship with the kid's mom. The problems I am facing are their behavior.
I was raised in a very hands on environment where there were rules and structure. I was taught manners and how to properly act at a dinner table. I do not see any of these things being taught to these girls from their mom, who is married. I am finding it difficult to try to teach them these things due to the fact that they are only over every-other weekend. I don't believe I am being unreasonable either because my rules are basically, no running, no yelling, no fighting, no whining, etc. When they act like brats and misbehave, I usually ask them things like, what does your mom do...for example, I have asked them many times what rules they have at home. The response I get is, none. Then they elaborate saying they are allowed to run in the house, and jump on the beds, etc. I have asked them if they know what manners are, and get a response of no. I am very frustrated because I feel as though their mom isn't teaching them how to be people and am unable to teach them in the small time I have with them when it isn't reinforced when they leave.
Am I being unreasonable about the situation? I have asked my boyfriend to have a talk with her to see if she can set more rules for them, but I don't think he wants to because he thinks it will create conflict.