I am 26. My boyfriend is 29 (about to be 30) and we have been together only 9 months, 8 of which we have lived together and doing very well. I've been married once before and tried to conceive for three years (2 years of fertility) and never succeeded. And now: SURPRISE! It happened when I was trying to NOT get pregnant. I got pregnant on the pill.
My boyfriend has been amazing since I told him. Very affectionate and supportive, however, he keeps telling me "We have time to figure out what to do." by which he means time to decide to keep or terminate.
To be quite honest, my first instinct was to terminate. Fear took over at the sudden news. But as I began to think about it, it did not seem like the right decision. We both have stable careers and jobs, own newer cars, and my BF has owned his home for 3 years. We are both mature and responsible. However, we are both still college students.
My family has been very very supportive. My friends couldn't be happier. And for the most part, while anxious, I am excited at the idea of this surprise miracle. I'm a Catholic, so I'm not comfortable with the idea of termination. If we were 20 years old, living at home and still figuring out the person I would become, that would be a different situation. Termination merely because timing is inconvenient or out of order just doesn't feel like a valid reason to pursue that path, in my opinion.
We told his parents last night. His father was indifferent and after the news, went right back to playing on the computer as if nothing had changed. His mother, however... oh boy. Made us feel like teenagers. Told my BF how much his life is going to change, how she's not happy with the news, and attacked me to make sure I go see a dentist. (long story). Both his parents were unsupportive and his parent's opinions weigh heavily on his decisions. We had made some progress before this. He was excited to see our baby's heartbeat at the first appointment in the afternoon. Then back peddled after his parents' reaction.
Thank you to all who took the time to review this. I'm looking for some support from unwed couples who have had a baby, or anyone's encouragement or advise on how to help my boyfriend make his own decision about our future, without the influence of his parents. He is 30 years old!