He won't practice Tae kwan doo

[osmak]

I have a 4 years old son. He is a little on the shy side, does not blend easily or well with other people, and physically not active although he is fit (not obese). In an attempt to solve his three problems I have enrolled him with his older sister (7 years) in a Tae Kwan Doo club that is close to my work. In his first lesson, when they started warming-up, the kids were running around, while he was just walking with his head facing the floor. Unfortunately, he was pushed by accident by another kid and fell down and started crying (the floor is covered with a rubber material he could not have been hurt). After that, he completely refused to practice with the children, and just sat on the bench watching for the whole lesson. I talked with the coach and asked him to help, but he told me that he can't force him to train and we need to wait until he decides to join the practice by himself. Now he has been going to the club for a week and all that he did is just setting and did not practice at all.

What can I do to change his mind??

PS: I forgot to say that he was so eager to go there, and he likes this kind of stuff (thanks to power rangers)

[holly228301]

i feel REALLY mean saying this, but why does the child think its ok to do this? why don't you tell him it's not an option? so MANY entitled kids these days... if i saw this i would think the child was a brat.

[KKSmithFL]

I was going to say that he may not be interested - until your PS. Maybe he was hoping to be an expert on the first day...? If he's watching Power Rangers, he probably fantasizes that he is just another part of the gang. Who doesn't fantasize that they are immediately exceptional in everything they do? I would try asking him if he knows about practicing, and why it's significant - the Power Rangers weren't born that way. It's just that tv started chronicling their adventures after they'd been practicing for years. We all have to learn things in order to practice them, then practice them to become more skilled. "For example, darling son of mine, how do you think you learned how to talk? Or walk? You learned from someone and you tried it. Then you tried it again. And then again... and again and again until you did it without even thinking about it."

It may not be the case, but - then again - it may be. If it is, I hope this has helped.

[osmak]

Thanks for the replies. Actually, the coach showed a lot of patience and encouraged him every day to join practice, they are friends now and the kid now likes going there. And of course he now practices with other children the whole class.

holly228301, I tried being tough and I actually told him that not practicing is not an option. I even tried grounding him (no Wii for three days).

KKSmithFL, I tried reasoning with him and tried convincing him that he needs to practice to be strong (since he is always challenging his sister and nephew, and always showing-off with his muscles). Nothing worked, so finally I told him that your going there every day and I don't care if you practice or not, you will be going anyway, and I just started ignoring him until before two days I heard from his sister that he started practicing.

[zululove]

i feel REALLY mean saying this, but why does the child think its ok to do this? why don't you tell him it's not an option? so MANY entitled kids these days... if i saw this i would think the child was a brat.

To me, your post is not only mean, but also ill-informed. As author Ross-Greene likes to say, "kids do well when they can." Don't you think this kid would participate in a class like this if he could? He obviously has social anxiety issues that are getting in the way of him succeeding at his full potential. My suggestion would be to work with a therapist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy to help give this kid the skills he needs to participate in this class, just like his Power Ranger heros.