Good afternoon!! I'm new here so forgive me if this topic/question has already been asked and answered. Hoping to get a perspective or two though on the following issue I have with my neighbor and her kids. Here goes...
My son is 5 and ADORES the neighbor boys, ages 5 and 7. They play together almost daily. I love that my son has playmates, however, their behavior is not what my husband and I find appropriate for our son.
The neighbor boys will come over to our house and I will let them know the rules of our house/yard and what will and will not be tolerated. They will follow our rules for a short time and then go about whatever behavior they choose. When this happens I have no problem ending the play session and sending them home.
However, quite often the mother of these boys will join them over at our house. I have reminding all of the kids of our rules in front of the mother multiple times. My issue is that the mother never disciplines her kids when they are at my house breaking the rules that I clearly stated. Her kids will be naughty right in front of her and she does nothing. It is very frustrating for me because my kids see what her kids get away with and then begin to act out themselves.
In the past I have given a general reminder of the rules to all the kids even though hers were the offenders just to keep it neutral. Since the play sessions are quite often these days though and this behavior is a constant, I have decided I need a new approach if I'm to last all summer long!
My question: Is it appropriate for me to discipline her kids when she is present at my house if she isn't going to discipline them herself? We have a decent relationship with the family and don't want to jeopardize that, but I find it unacceptable for her to let her kids come over to my house and play and then blatantly disregard my rules.
Help! I'm not very good at confrontation otherwise I would have addressed it already. Husband tells me that's going to be the only way to solve it once and for all. I would totally do that if her boys weren't the only ones in the neighborhood to play with and will be going to kindergarten together this fall, etc. etc.
Feedback/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!