I am engaged to a wonderful man who has an amazing little girl. She is about to turn 5. He and I have known each other for 13 years. Though we were states away, we were each other's first love. We just never did anything about it until now because of he distance. I'm marrying the love of my life, and it was love at first sight between me and his daughter, as if her father's love for me was somehow passed to her. We are like something out of a story book. Except for one thing - his ex wife will not go away.
My fiance was never married to his daughter's mother. They dated for 6 months and broke up. She contacted him 8 months later to let him know that she was pregnant with his child. They tried again to make it work for her sake for a year, but it just was not happening. About a year later, he married a nice girl he met at work. He was not deeply in love with her, but he admired and cared for her and she was wonderful to his daughter. Despite not having much in common they got along well. She kept trying to convince him they should marry, and eventually he gave in. Long story short, her true colors began to show after they were wed and he began to lose feelings for her... not only did her attitude toward his daughter change and it come to surface that she had trouble holding a job, she turned out to have a lying and spending problem. She was constantly pulling money out of their account and spending it on lord knows what. She would write bad checks that would bounce and cause terrible ovedrafts. He told her to get out when several bounced checks added up all at once to him not being able to afford to pay for his daughter's schooling. He didn't find out that she had stolen from his parents, too, until after he'd left her. They were only married a year and a half.
Finally, he and I are together and - I think there are probably laws against being this happy. But, two months after we got together, we learned that the mother of Duke's child has been letting his ex wife come over to her house to see his daughter. We were livid. My fiance expressed to the both of them how angry and disappointed he was that they were doing this behind his back, even threatened to press charges on his ex wife if she didn't leave his child alone. They both apologized and told him what they did was wrong and they were happy for us. But it started again! One day while we were coloring, my fiance's child said that his ex kept coming over but she didn't understand why. "She's not even family", she said. "I just wanted to say goodbye, and we did, but she keeps coming over. It hurts daddy's feelings and I really don't want to be in this situation".
Her mother insists that she changes her story and looks forward to seeing her ex step mom, but her mother also has a reputation for being a compulsive liar. What do we do? Do we have any right to be upset? I don't know if anything can be done or if any advice can be given. I'm just so upset. We just want her to go away. She lied and stole from my fiance and his parents and then started going behind his back to be a part of his child's life when she was only a part of it for less than two years. Is it just me, or is this a terrible thing?