Daughter picked on because of me?

[SuperBusyMom27]

Hey everyone, new to the site, and this is my first post!!! Yay!!! I'm Chelsea, happily married for almost nine years now with two beautiful kids! Daughter Madison ('Maddy') age 5, and son Preston ('P.W.') age 2. We live in the beautiful Greater Columbus area of Ohio! (Go Buckeyes!!!! Haha!!!)

My daughter started first grade this past year, and she's been doing really well! Her teachers have even recommended that she be placed in a class for gifted students! However, over the past few weeks or so she's been coming home looking down and out. I was getting worried and finally she told me that she was getting picked on at school. This was shocking for two reasons, 1) I thought this stuff usually doesn't start until middle school, and 2) she said the reason they were picking on her was because of me! She said the other kids were saying that their moms didn't like me, and were calling her and myself 'spoiled' and 'out of touch.'

This is really surprising to me, both my husband and I came from blue collar roots in PA, and we both worked our butts off in school to get where we are now (my husband's an anesthesiologist and I'm a cooperate attorney), and we have never spoiled our kids. Although I would say we are doing well, I don't consider us rich by any means. We pay our mortgage like everyone else, go to work everyday like everyone else, and my husband and I are still paying off student loans from Law school and Medical school. I make sure my kids have everything they need, yes, we put in the extra money for things like making sure we have the best health insurance available, but my daughter is NOT going to school in Giorgio Armani or Louis Vitton or anything like that.

I'm not sure how to deal with this. To be honest, I've always thought I had a good relationship with the other moms in my daughter's class. Although I'm not as involved as I'd like to be because of work, but we always pay our fair share and often cover for others when things are tight for others. I just been telling my daughter to just concentrate on her school work, and to try to ignore those kids, but it still bothers me. I'm not going to apologize for our success, my husband and I worked our asses off for everything we ever had, in college, graduate school, and at work. But still, it hurts a lot that my daughter is having to go through it...

Any advise? Should I try to be more involved, or should I try to meet with them individually for tea or something (My husband and I don't drink coffee, no idea how we survived! Haha!)? Any advice would be great! Thanks!

[pennyroyal]

you'll find this anywhere that you go, theres no way to really avoid it either. the other moms probably are jealous of you and your husbands success, and instead of taking the time to get to know you.. & finding out how hard youve worked and struggled to get where you are, its easier to just assume that you unworthy yuppies had everything handed to you on a silver platter. my advice would be for you to be the bigger woman, and do whatever it takes to be more involved in your daughters school life. they are never going to change their opinions of you if there isnt an oppurtunity to do so. you could even invite some of the other moms over with their children, sort of like a play date (5 is still an okay age for that, in my opinion..) and have lunch, or take the kids for a walk, etc. if anyone asks what the occassion is, or questions your motives, just explain that you want to become more involved, and that you wanted to get to know some of the other moms in the area. another option, if you felt comfortable doing so, would be to send the kids off to a sitter and host a dinner. invite the moms and their husbands/partners and everyone just have a good time. hopefully in making an effort to show who you are, and what your family represents, the other parents will cool off a little and not be so catty. its not fair that your daughter has to suffer because a few other parents are jealous, and want their kids to gang up on yours. thats bull. and its unfortunate that you have to be the one to get the ball rolling, but if you want things to change, these are the kind of people that youre going to have to humor in order to get your point across.