Let me start this by saying that I am a woman, married to a woman and we have four children, all girls. The older two came from my previous marriage to a man. The kids are 13, 10, and 6yrs old (twins). My wife and I have been together for over 5 years. Not sure how this board is about gay parents but here it goes.....
My 13yr old daughter just told me tonight she has a girlfriend....not just a friend but a "girlfiriend". I am torn between "awww, how cute" and "awww, poor thing" because she said there are kids already giving them crap about it at school and on the bus.
Anyone else here ever dealt with this? I just need some insight.....or maybe just a sympathetic ear.
well, i was 14 when i had my first relationship with a girl.. we were both in high school, 9th grade to be exact. we were best friends to start, and it was really hard.. we kept it a secret from other students because of how horrible the harrassment would be. these days, however, it seems like kids are coming out earlier and earlier. im sure that there is still a lot of torment and ridicule that comes with it, but it is deffinitely more accepted than it used to be, to be a gay teenager these days. but anyway, 13 is pretty young to know for sure. i know that when i was 14 i wasnt sure what was really going on.. if i was a lesbian, or bisexual, or just experimenting.. i think that before your daughter really comes out, maybe you should have a talk with her and explain that this is a critical time in her teen years, and feelings are deffinitely all over the place.. just explain that before she becomes the target any further, of some assholes close-minded and judgemental bull crap.. to just be sure.
as far as you not knowing whether to embrace or sympathize with the situation.. i think that remaining neutral would be the best thing to do. because she is so young, its natural to experiment.. and if you "pick a side," it might lead to more confusion, if she is having mixed feelings already. just knowing that youre there for her and support whatever she feels is right, leaves the door open for her to really figure out what and how she feels. and maybe she already knows that this is who she is.. either way, it doesnt hurt to offer unconditional support. i know that i could have used it, when i was a teen in this situation.