Concerned about 14 month old daughter

[aray21]

Hello everyone. I was hoping for some insight on a few concerns I've been having about my 14 month old daughter. I recently noticed that she has been shaking her head quite a bit...as if she were saying no, but she does it randomly. She seems to do it more when she gets irritated with her toys or when i'm trying to get her to do something. She also sometimes flaps her hands while shaking her head as well. It has been brought to my attention that these are warning signs for possible autism. The more I look into it, the more I notice that she may have more symptoms than I would have thought. She was saying a few words before she turned one...not really understanding them, but saying them clearly. Words such as "no, up, poo, bye, hi." She doesn't seem to be saying any of those now. She only says mama and dada and understands what they mean. She likes to stack toys and put lids on containers and gets very upset when she can't make them fit. She throws tantrums quite a bit. She likes watching children play and will sometimes play along, but is perfectly content playing on her own. On the other hand, she is very affectionate and does cry when we leave the room. She babbles a lot and is very happy. She likes to play games like peek a boo. She makes eye contact, she smiles with me, she imitates some action and most expressions, she responds to her name and to commands that she knows are meant for her such as, "come here, bring me that, hug your bear, or no." Oh and she is a very good eater...she is not picky at all. I know that at this age, a lot of her symptoms can also be considered perfectly normal, but I am very worried. We have her check-up next month so I am planning on mentioning it to her pediatrician then, but I would really appreciate some advice or insight on the matter. Thank you so much in advance and sorry for the length of the post!

[RoseMom]

Your daughter sounds EXACTLY like my three year old daughter. I used to worry (and still do sometimes!) about her "abnormal" behavior. She used to babble more, would do quirky things like shaking her head vigorously, or becoming overly frustrated when the blocks she was stacking would topple over. She also seemed to stop using the simple words and phrases that I KNEW she knew! Even now, she prefers playing alone to large groups of other kids. She understands when she is asked to do something, as you said is the case with your daughter. Do you know what I discovered was the problem? NOTHING! LOL. Sorry to tell you, but your daughter is probably more of an introvert. I
never realized until I had my child that they begin developing distinct personalities at about that age. Some kids are gregarious. Some are more shy. I realized that my daughter tends to prefer solitude and pointing. I let her have time to herself, but also try to get her to interact with other kids. I push her to use the words that she knows moreso than not. Its a struggle somedays. but there's definitely nothing wrong with her. That was my first thought because I was such an outgoing child. However, my daughter took the introspective, solo personality from my husband! Even at this young age--each child is different! If she is responsive and seems to understand, I wouldn't worry too much. Every child reaches milestones at different ages. She is obviously more calculating and deliberate in her actions, hence the stacking and sorting objects. (my daughter does this as well, and hates when I move her stuff) Hope this helps!

[aray21]

Thank you so much for your reply! I am perfectly happy with having an introverted daughter! Don't get me wrong, I will love my baby no matter what...i just want the best for her and I know she would face more struggles if it was something more serious. I have been keeping a close eye on her and her behavior over the last couple of days and I am much less worried now. She does respond pretty well and you're right about her being more calculating. I've started to realize that too. Although, she doesn't point at all and I know they should start being able to do that around this age. But like you said, they all reach their developmental milestones at different times! I've also noticed that she does play well with some kids and it's usually the children she's gotten to know over time so it would make sense that she is just a little shy and needs to get used to people and things. I really appreciate you replying, it's really helped put my mind at ease. Thanks again! :-)

[rikkitikkibear]

Every kid is different. I have three children and like you have had my worries about all of them. But they are currently 9, 5, and 2 and as normal and healthy as the can be. Sometimes I wonder about each of them and their quirky behaviors but that is all it has turned out to be, just quirky little things. Over the past few years my son has developed nervous habits that sometimes worry me. Like chewing his nails, clearing his throat, or making weird noises. But they don't ever stay the same -one month it's one thing and the next its something else. I think sometimes we worry too much. You are right to ask your doctor, but I wouldn't worry about it unless the doctor is concerned.