Nothing Works

[Angelpeach]

My son is 3 1/2 now. He throws the biggest fits I've ever seen. He's extremely stubborn. He doesn't listen when I try to correct any bad behavior. In fact, every effort to correct him leads to one of those huge fits instantly. I've tried time-outs, trying to explain why he can't do something, diverting his attention and even spankings which I don't like. Nothing works. My biggest problem is we have a language problem. He is speech delayed. We've been to doctors and it is confirmed that he has hit every other milestone. His hearing is fine. He simply refuses to talk. Because of this, I have a hard time getting him to understand. Counting doesn't help because he LOVES to count and thinks it's a game. When something happens that he doesn't like (for example, the end of his show/movie) or if he doesn't get something he wants he starts screaming at the top of his lungs and throwing himself down and against walls. It's horrible. He keeps getting all these bruises all over his legs and arms and I'm terrified that someone will think I'm beating him. The other day he slammed against the wall so hard that he has a bruise on the side of his face now. I don't know what to do. I've tried every suggestion from his doctor and I've read about different methods but NOTHING works. I'm losing my mind trying to stop this behavior. His doctor keeps saying he'll grow out of it. I can't even leave the house with him for fear that he'll throw a fit. Has anyone else had to deal with a fit thrower with delayed speech? A little advice from someone that's been there would be most appreciated. Especially since he's having one of his fits right now as I type. Thanks.

Oh and I forgot to mention... he destroys anything he touches when he's having a fit. Not an exaggeration. I can't have anything out at all. I had to put away anything I wanted to keep whether it was glass or plastic because if he gets a hold of something while throwing a fit he's find a way to break it.

[schoolpsyc]

I would bring him in for an evaluation by a school psychologist who may be able to help you understand why he does this. You may be able to get a free evaluation by someone in the school district you live in. Since he is speech delayed you have a reason to have him evaluated.

[pennyroyal]

i agree with schoolpsyc, that he needs to be evaluated psychologically and emotionally. the delayed speech is probably a frustration for him as well, feeling like he cant really express himself has to be discouraging and maddening, even for a 3 year old. in the meantime, until he is able to be checked out, your best bet is to stay as calm as possible and try not to lose your temper. chances are, if you get upset because you feel like you have no control over the situation, he will respond negatively to your frustrations and it will only fuel the fire. based on what you have revealed in your post, personally i think that this is something you cant wait to see if he'll "grow out of it." especially if he is becoming violent and destructive. there are resources available that will help you find the solution to this problem, and depending on your finances it may even be free. i suggest having your son evaluated by a different doctor asap. its not fair for you and its not fair for him, to have to suffer through such outrageous behavior. he should be busy having fun and being a kid. honestly, i wouldnt look past it like you've been told to do before, for very much longer.
good luck!!