Help....kind of disturbing :(

[rutzt]

Here is my story/issue: My 2 yr old daughter used to love sitting on the potty after or before diaper changes. Her behavior changed about 2 months ago to the point of where she screamed during diaper changes, grabbed herself down there, refused to sit on the potty. I took her to the Dr. to see if she had a UTI or something and he thought that daycare was either 1) abusing her to some extent or 2) Wiping/cleaning her too roughly during diaper changes. (I know nothing was going on at home and the only other people that watch her are the ones at her center.) According to the dr. there was a "slight" tear to her vagina and red/irritated. There was no infection. Child services was called, and an investigation took place. Child services decided that there was not enough evidence to accuse the center of anything due to her being so young and unable to tell what was going on. They think that she was being cleaned too rough and suggested I help train the center on correct diapering procedures. Ummm NO...I took her out of her childcare center and moved her to another one.

She is still having issues. I think it is because of her experience at the previous center. She has a lot of anxiety when it comes to diaper changes. She continues to grab herself as soon as her diaper comes off, but I think it is more of a learned reaction than anything else. What can I do and suggest for the new center to do to help her overcome her fear of diaper changes?? Its getting frustrating that she is still scared, but I understand why. Is there a specialist I should bring her to?? Just thought someone out there might be able to give me some insight/ideas of what I can do to get my happy 2 yr old back on track with diaper changes and potty training.

Thanks......Trish

[allykatt0809]

They have wipes for kids learning to use the potty. Maybe you should get her some pull ups, an easy open box of wipes... And let her change herself. That may work.
If it helps, tell her how to take her pants and pull up off and how to wipe. Then tell her how to put on the new pull up. Let her know you will be right out side the door if she needs help. She may be more comfortable (ya know, if anything did happen at the center)

Good luck

[stacie orr]

Good for you for taking your daughter out of that place. My son became very self aware at 2.
He cried and had fits when we went to wipe him. He did not want to be touched at all. I
know that nothing happened to him because i am a stay at home mom and he has never
been left anywhere. Let your daughter be in control. Buy her flushable wipes in the pretty
princess box that they have and get pullups. Let her decide where to change. This might be
the best time to potty train. Good luck!

[pennyroyal]

first of all, im very sorry to hear that there may have been some abuse regarding your daughter. the problems that you described are horrible, and you deffinitely made the right choice moving her. its sickening to even think that anyone could do something so horrible to an innocent child.
theres not a whole lot you can do, until she is ready herself to be potty trained. however, i agree with the other posts about introducing pull ups and kids wipes, and letting her be in control. if you remain patient, and consistent, rather than demanding and forceful, hopefully she will begin to feel more comfortable, and come around. my daughter is almost 3, and for a small amount of time each day we let her run around without a diaper on, and put a pair of dora the explorer underwear on her. we stress to her that if she has to go potty to let us know so she doesnt get her big girl pants wet. and usually, she comes right out and says that she has to go. we then go to the bathroom, and put her on her potty, and the rest is history. maybe you could try the underpants if you havent already. just remember to remain consistent in the training that you choose, and to be patient with her progress, whether she shows improvement, or reaches a plateau. eventually she'll get there. you also have to allow time for her 'recovery' if anything did happen to her at the daycare center. hopefully she is young enough to get past it and not let it haunt her for the rest of her life. just try to remember that if something traumatic did happen, it might very well cause a stunt in her development, until she is able to overcome that anxiety. its unfortunate, but it could have been a lot worse. im sorry that you and your family have to go through such an ordeal. if i were you, i would be looking for a way to let other people know that you had to remove your child from the facility under suspicious circumstances. whether you contact the better business bureau, or a site like angies list or something similar, other parents deserve to know that something might have happened there.