First of all, know that baby sleep patterns change as they grow older. This is a phase that will change yet again after a while. Most likely nothing is wrong - or she is teething and that is bothering her. I used the tylenol and motrin and baby teething tablets kind of liberally during the teething stage. Eventually I think my baby found the sweet medicine taste soothing (as he was associating it with eventual pain relief? Just a theory) so I started to give him Mylecon gas drop when I didn't think he was really in pain. Those are consisdered very safe, and it seemed to do the trick of calming him. Anyway, a lot to say that it might be teething.
Try patting her instead of picking her up or feeding her (believe me, you do not want to get night nursings started again - weaning those was a battle into the first year for us). She might be reasured by your touch, but you are interacting minimally so it should be easier to "wean" - as babies will often wake up and cry for the attention they think they will get if they have been getting it (they are not being manipulative, they just like getting the attention, understandably).
Cry-it-out is hard, and the "proper" method is to reasure (and calm if needed) her every few minutes that you are still around, even if you are not otherwise interacting with her.
You two need to make sure you discuss it around a relaxed time, not in the middle of the night. You'll be able to listen to each other better then, and maybe come up with a solution.
I personally would not start bringing her into the bed, as that will most likely become a habit that will be hard to break. But simply letting her cry-it-out might not work either, due to your husband's valid feelings. If you can compromise on something in between all the better.
State Certified Early Childhood Special Education Teacher
New Mom as of March 2009!