Did I over react?

[sissabox]

My 10 year old son came home from school today and told me that a man had asked him to help him look for screws for his bike. And that he would give him five dollars for it. My 10 year old and 9 year old ride the bus from school and walk the short distance (less than half a block) to the house. I many days walk to the bus stop, but today my daughter was sick, so I let them walk home. I immediately called the neighbor to ask if she had seen him, because we live two houses from each other and watch out for the kids. I went outside and saw some older children. I ask them if the man had approached them and they said no, so I told them to be careful and not talk to strangers. Another guy walked over who apparently rents the house across the street and said that it was ok, it was the neighbor asking for help and that he's not a pervert. I went over to meet the guy and he turned out to be an alright guy. I had never met him as I'm new to the neighbor and he is never outside. The guy who asked my kids for help seemed upset that I came out and was upset some stranger asked my kids for something. I told him I didn't mean to insult him but they are my kids and all I heard was some stranger was asking him to help and offering them money... That sounds like the typical lure that pedophiles make to get kids into a van or house.... He said he understood, but that I didn't have to worry because he was a teacher... Still I don't think he should approach kids on the street he doesn't know and ask them or offer them money without talking to the parent... Was I wrong to react the way I did?

[Newmom!]

Unless you were yelling at him during this conversation, I don't think you over reacted.
Growing up I was always taught (by parents and school) that (stranger) adults shouldn't be asking kids for help, they can find pleanty of other adults to help them. I was also taught shouldn't talk to or help these strangers.

Now that you have met this man, and if you feel he is trustworthy enough as a neighbor then I'd give you kids permission to help him out in the front yard or to say "Hi" to him if they wish. Until you know this guy better, and with strangers in general, be sure to talk to your kids again about not entering the house, garage, car, or other place with a stranger, and as I mentioned earlier, that if a stranger asks for help, they need to not stop and help. In this particular case, it would have been good for them to say "Let me go ask my mom" and then take you to meet the neighbor. - Most people are not perverts, and most are well intentioned, but that still doesn't mean that your children should be interacting with them if you don't know them.

I like to pay the neighborhood children to help me around the yard - 5 bucks to help pull weeds is worth the money to me - BUT I have known the parents and kids for 5 years now and I always talk to the parents before I have the kids commit.

Consider having a "neighborhood" Halloween party, or something of the like, and invite all your neighbors 4-5 (or more) homes on either side of yours and across the street. We have these every once in a while in our neighborhood, it makes for a more friendly neighborhood.

[leahill]

You did not overreact. What he did was very improper. He should have known better. Especially if he is a teacher. Is he really a teacher?

I would be very angry indeed if it happened to me.

[sissabox]

Thanks for the posts. I did meet the guy and while he seemed nice enough, I haven't gotten a good vibe from him. I can't place it, but I've spoken with him a few times and each time I just feel uncomfortable around him.. Another parent called the police on him and they came out to investigate. So my kids were apparently not the only children he talked to. While I don't know what happened with that, I have seen patrol cars at or driving by the bus stops during the morning and afternoon.... I have instructed my kids to be polite and say hi, but they are not allowed to accept money or anything from him and are not allowed to go with him anywhere to do any. I have met pretty much all my neighbors across, beside and even two or three houses down on both sides. This house was the only neighbor who I hadn't met. Everyone has been super nice and there a lots of kids in this neighborhood and all of my neighbors save his house and the one right next to me has children.

It made me feel a little better knowing the other parents were just as upset, but I still wonder about having the patrol cars, and I feel good knowing they took the situation seriously. I did not get a good feeling from him so I am polite and just decided to keep an extra close eye on the situation and I walk my kids to and from the bus stop now....

Thanks so much for the support and responses. It is nice to know other parents understand the danger and the fears I had. I do think most people are good people and I tend to give the benefit of the doubt, which is why I went and talked to the guy, but I am still very cautious of adults who don't tell kids to ask their parent first or come and talk to me before offering something to children that are unknown to him.... Thanks again.

[Newmom!]

- Most people are not perverts, and most are well intentioned

And some people are perverts or ill-intentioned (Yes, I am quoting myself). I think you are right to trust your instincts and keep your kids away from him if something doesn't seem quite right about him.

Wishing your and your kids a lifetime of health and safety

[Swati88]

No according to me you dind't over reacted!! Actually he was not doing good,and it'd your right though!!