Hi everyone. I have a dilemma. I am currently 17wks1day with my second (our first.) My first is soon to be 8 years old and DH came into our lives when DS was 2 years old. Recently I have been asked by some mutual friends if I was going to have a baby shower. I, of course, have no idea. I was always told you get one baby shower for your first because that was the point to a baby shower. So what if it is my second and his "first?." His family & most of our friends weren't in my life when I had DS so if someone does throw us a shower I can invite them, but what about my family & friends who were there? My Mom threw me the 2 showers (one for family one for friends) before because I was 17 during the pregnancy and freshly 18 when I delivered. It wasn't considered joyous for much of my family And now I'm worried some might view me as greedy if I have one now.
So the main questions are: Do I accept if someone offers a baby shower? If so, who do I invite? Would it be inappropriate to have a baby shower for my second child?
Thanks in advance for any advice. Sorry it is so long winded.
I know someone whose daugheter is 2 and she is expecting her second (a boy) in a month. She thought she was only going to have one child, so she got rid of all the baby stuff. So, she had a full on baby shower with a gift registry and everything. Lots of people showed up and showered her with gifts. If you no longer have baby stuff, I think having a shower with the implied expectation of gifts is appropriate, especially since, as you said, this is a first baby for half the family. Consider making it a couples/family shower. I had that with my first. Husbands, wives, and kids were all invited, we had some games that were male specific to really make they guys fit. This way your husband's friends and your son's friends can also join you - and that may make it a happier occasion with the majority of the guest not knowing of your "sad" showers. Ask a couple of friends if they would want to host it for you. If you get a happy and excited "Yes" then know it is very appropriate (it already sounds like some friends are hoping you'll have one)
My own son is 2, and we are expecting our boy 2nd in a few months, and I really want a shower for #2 - I feel the shower is not only to get help aquiring all the needed baby items, but also a celebration of life and anticipation of the upcoming arrival of the baby. I have saved everything from our last baby, so I do not need anything - so my shower invites read "Please bring a Greeting Card with your personal expression of joy for Baby's scrapbook. No Gifts Please". That way we can still have a party in honor of baby #2, but no one feels expected to get a gift.
I think you could do either option, a shower with the intent of gifts (afterall, it has been 8 years, even the most basic baby items have been overhaulled to be safer in that amount of time) is very approrpaite in your case. And a "celebration shower" as I am having allows you to have a fun gathering of people in honor of your little one without worry of people's opinions on your "needs". I'd say, do what you want. The "sour pusses" who feel you are greedy can just decline to attend.
State Certified Early Childhood Special Education Teacher
New Mom as of March 2009!
I think a shower is fine. I think if the babies are close in age & are the same sex - then the answer would be no. I think - you should let people plan all the showers you can get. I do know that even if babies are close together - people have had diaper showers - and my sister didn't have buy a pak of diapers until her daughter was 9 months. It was a big life saver. just make sure that who ever is giving the shower - they kind of split up the sizes so you will have some diapers of all sizes. congrats & enjoy
i was told that a 2nd shower is not really proper - but, if the children are 5 years apart or more, it is acceptable. things like cribs and car seats have expiration dates. in your case, i think it would be okay to have a shower.
I just had a baby shower for baby number 3! One of my best friends threw it for me, and because my first two were girls(6 and almost 4 now), this one is a boy, so I had no baby things and def nothing blue! LOL! I had a huge shower for my first one, my second girl didn't get a shower, but a lot of people came to visit her when we got home. So it was nice that someone did this for me. My husband's mom and dad's families both believe you only get one shower and that's it, but when it came to making a invitation list, I only invited people that I knew would enjoy it and love to be there. I did register for somethings, but nothing big. I bought all my big stuff, but beings how its been longer since you had a baby I would register for the larger items. So enjoy another shower, and I think it's a great idea!
Ps-I love that idea about the shower with just the cards! Very cute!