I'm at such a loss - I don't know what to do. I am married with 2 boys ages 9 and 11.
My 9 year old son doesn't care about anything or who he hurts. He's a slob, he breaks his things, has no guilt about breaking other people's things, just does what he wants to do, no matter the consequence.
He does not do what he is told. He has to be told MULTIPLE times to do something and it's with a fight. He never remembers to do things that he has been told in the past. Like, food is not to be eaten upstairs. Yet, I will find food wrappers under the couch, in his garbage can under a wad of kleenex.
I cannot get him to keep his room clean. He takes EVERYTHING out of his drawers and it's all on the floor. He eats where he's not supposed to and leaves the garbage anywhere but the garbage can.
He refuses to sleep in his room. He says he's afraid of the dark. He sneaks junk food so when dinnertime rolls around, he's not hungry.
He has a very short temper. He thinks everyone in his family hates him and picks on him. If he doesn't get his way, it's hell for me.
I have tried the following: incentive charts, chores with weekly allowance, spanking, removal of his favorite things (TV, computer, video games), going to bed earlier than normal. I have numerous times gone through his room and put everything in garbage bags (clothes, toys) where he has nothing left.
HE DOESN'T CARE about any of these things being taken away.
It's to the point where I just want to walk away and his Dad deal with it.
I'm rambling and probably making no sense.
Please, any advice??? Should he see a doctor? I don't know what to do.
He needs attention and he is obviously not getting it 24/7. I'm not trying to be crude, quite the opposite. Have you tried following his lead? He feels no obligation because he believes none was given him. Follow his lead for a week, make sure he feels he is getting his dues (remember he feels he hasn't been getting it for quite a while). Or better yet, how would you have wanted people to give you your dues, the cost, the method, and the payback. Put yourself in his shoes, put yourself in the situation, and where would you go from there? Try that and let me know if I'm confusing you.