You shouldn't force back the foreskin, but it should be starting to separate a little on it's own - so you should be able to pull some of it back a little and wash those areas.
Consider a second opinion from a doctor who is either pro-not circumcising, or better yet, feels either is an option and knows how to work with issues.
I don't have any experience with non-circumcised care, but I know what I read about making the "decision" that both circumcised and non-circumcised can experience a variety of medical issues, or non at all. A circumcision just yields different issues than non. So as I said, look for a second opinion (maybe a urologist) and don't doubt your decision. And good luck - sometimes these things just happen despite good care.
State Certified Early Childhood Special Education Teacher
New Mom as of March 2009!