Breast Feeding in Public

[MeganIrish7]

I want to breast-feed, but I also want to have a life, but my husband sees women in public breast-feeding and he thinks it's wrong. I don't mind it at all, it's natural and babies have to eat too. Any opinions or anything that could help me here? I have even talked to him about using a breast-feeding blanket to cover my chest and the baby while they feed and he still thinks it's wrong. Is this normal? Should I not feed in public? How do others feel here?

[Newmom!]

Be sure you have him attend the breast-feeding class with you before the baby is born.
My husband would say your husband needs to grow up. The breast is for feeding the baby. Our society has sexualized the breast, but really, "using" it in the bedroom is "wrong" and feeding you baby, where ever that may be is right.

Hope he will begin to support you. Most breastfeeding books tend to have a section for the father - ask him to read it, it might help him open up to the idea.

The first few weeks of nursing can be real hard. But with support and getting over the learning curve it can be rewarding, and convinient. (For example: If you forget the diaper bag you can still feed your child).

Best of luck

[ra11en]

Exposing yourself in public, regardless of reason, is wrong. Whether society is wrong for having sexualized the breast or whatever, it is what it is.

It's your choice to breastfeed, but other people shouldn't be subjected to seeing nudity in public due to your choice as a mother. I certainly don't want my young children seeing a stranger's breast out in public.

That being said, it can absolutely be done discreetly! And I think your husband should and needs to support you. Even without a blanket to cover you while the baby is eating, you can learn how to keep yourself covered with your shirt so as to not expose your breast. The first few weeks are really hard and you likely won't be out and about with the baby anyway, it's a good learning time. Or you can pump and use a bottle if you want to compromise with him.

Just like you need his support, he'll need yours. It can be hard on the daddy when mommy breastfeeds - it's not something he can help with other than be supportive of you. You'll have to be there for each other.

[artsyme001]

Since my daughter was born this past July (July 23, 2010) I have researched breastfeeding in public. I'm not sure if you are aware but we have laws to protect us as breastfeeding moms. It is not considered indecent exposure to breastfeed a child in public. That said I remember one time when our daughter was 6 months old and I had on two shirts. My nursing cami and a shirt layered over that. We went to a state park for the day and I went to a remote corner to latch the baby on my breast. Then once I did that I got up and walked around with her at my breast without a blanket to cover, however with my two layers of shirts I was able to nurse my daughter without my breast being exposed. I'm kind of a private person when it comes to that. There are ways to nurse without exposing your breast to others in public. I was hoping no one would say anything that time I did that, and no one did even though I got some strange looks (like what is she doing looks). But if someone had said something I would have proceeded in telling them a few things they may not have wanted to hear. My child needs to eat and this is where her food comes from. You cannot see my breast so what is your problem? Even if you could, would you rather me not feed my baby because of your ideas or problem with nursing? I would have then told them if they had a problem with it don't look, but I will not make my baby suffer for anyone, sorry. You husband probably thinks that you will be all hanging out and such. There are ways to nurse without exposing your breast to others, but what has to come first is your child's needs not other people's opinions. Your husband does need to be on your side with the decision to nurse. It is very hard to nurse without his support. So please have a lactation consultant from the hospital talk to him or your ob talk to him. Nursing is the most natural thing a woman can do and if you want to nurse you will need support from those you love and even those you will meet in the hospital. Your husband might feel like he won't be able to participate, but he will in time. You have that whole child's life to spend together, you know? You can get some nursing tops that will help with being concealed while nursing. One great place to get these are from www.motherwear.com and they have wonderful nursing clothes that are affordable and attractive. Check them out. They have great customer service too. Good luck and congrats on your baby! Enjoy this time, it flies by so fast.

K-

Soul-mate to spouse for 19 years
Mommy to son, Justin born on 12/15/05
Mommy to angel-baby, who passed on 6/15/07
Mommy to daughter, Jennifer born on 07/23/10

[Newmom!]

I have to post again, as husband participating was mentioned twice.
Your husband can participate from day 1 with nursing.

He can burp the baby

He can help keep the baby awake while eating (always a concern with new parents the first few weeks)

He can watch how you get the newborn to latch and coach you on it (this was one of the best things my husband did, 'cuz I kept holding the baby wrong and forgetting to bring the baby to breast instead of thrusting my chest at him, etc). As he has the visual perspective you see from all the nursing how-to videos - and you don't.

He can wipe up drooled milk or spit up

He can bring you the baby and change it's diaper in the middle of the night so you can stay in bed

He can give a bottle those few times you just need a break.

If your baby does have feeding issues and you need to do physical therapy or pump, your husband can help with the therapy or wash the pump. (again, this is what we did).

And, he can just sit there with the two of you and keep you company and simply enjoy the sight of his baby.

So, there is a lot of things that your husband can participate in when you nurse.

[Newmom!]

I have to post one more time. I just read tonight the perfect article that you and your husband should read. It doesn't address the public side of nursin per se, but it does address the support needed from your husband and what he can do to be supportive. It is called
"Breastfeeding, a Family Affair" in spring/summer 2011 issue of "New Parent". I got it free today when I registered at Babies R Us. I hope you can find it and read it, it might give you and your husband some good talking points and help make nursing a positive experience for you all.

[darwinsgirl16]

Also helpful if you visit la leche league an international breastfeeding organization online they have lists of nursing friendly spots everywhere you need to be! That was a great help for me with my first.