Approp. age forchild to sit up frontseat

[isambob]

My boyfriend's boys came down for the weekend to stay, and one of his friend's tagged along to get some pizza and chill out with us. Well, his boys are a little rude and keep making snobby comments about how they didn't want to sit by him and all this other stuff. I guess it's a kids thing, so it's whatever, but one of his boy's had to sit in the middle since he doesn't have to sit in a booster seat anymore, and he was complaining about not wanting to sit in the middle or by his friend (or rather, boyfriend's COUSIN, lol.) then asked me if he could sit in the front seat... right away I was like, "UH NO." and he was like, "Why not?! my dad (his stepdad, but he has to call him dad, or he'll be grounded by his mother) let me sit up front for 45 minutes a few times when we went places" and for some reason it fired me up. Given not my children, but they aren't his either, and it states on the sign in the front seat that children should not be up in front if they are under the age of 12, and he's only 7 years old! But, what is everyone else's takes on this? (I haven't gotten much sleep. 16 weeks pregnant and only an hour of sleep last night on the carpet floor... now at home going to sleep on MY BED.) Alot of the things their mother does with the kids doesn't make any sense whatsoever to me. Well.. not very appropriate in my eyes, and a little brainwashing.

[Newmom!]

I don't know if there are laws, probably depends on the state you are in. But I know weight and height matter more than age. A small 12 year old still shouldn't sit in front, a tall and hefty 10 year old might be okay.

If this truly is concerning you should obviously refuse when he is in your care, and if you feel you need to, you can contact the police and report your concern. The police can issue a fine. This might open up a can of worms you'd rather remain closed, but on the other hand it might be better to try to make some changes.

It's hard when you have to share care-giving with someone else. I'm a teacher and some things I see parents do make me cringe, but with few exceptions, there is nothing that can be done except do it my way when the child is in my care.

Best of luck, this is a hard one.

[isambob]

Yeah. For sure, I just think it's horrible when these boys come down telling me how all these things their mother and stepfather do are always alright in their eyes when in reality, it's not right at all. Like we found out their mother leaves them home alone (a 5 yr old and 7 yr old... soon to be 6 yr old and 8 yr old) and expects them to stay in the house. No kid in their right mind is going to do that, and I know from being a child once myself when my parents left me at home I didn't stay in the house like I was supposed to. When I have my child, I'm definitely going to have rules. The other thing their mother does is party and drink in front of the boys sometimes (well, they drink all the time) there's a list of things I think they do that make me just... uggghh cringe. but there's not much we can do, since boyfriend doesn't have money to take her to court or anything.

[Newmom!]

There is child protective services, you can call them if needed. If the partying includes drugs or luewd behavior, or if you think that they really are in danger when left home alone, it is appropriate to call CPS. Be careful that you just present the facts and leave out your judgement when talking to CPS as your call can be interpreted as one parent against another - also, CPS might not do anything, they have laws to follow and a case/report needs to hit certain factors before they can investigate - although they do keep a file going as over time as information may add up.

On the other hand, if they are not in danger, just exposed to what you think they shouldn't be due to your own personal beliefs, then you are right, there isn't much you can do.

In the end you can just provide the best environment possible when you are with them and hope for the best.

[lekha]

somehow it sounds rude, but its totally the matter of your Bf, How could your BF gave permeation to his boys to behave with you like this? 1st of all convince your Bf to explain their boys for good behavior with you.