How do you deal with missing your kids? I find myself sometimes crying at work because I didnt spend as much time with my kids the day before and NOW I have to work all day and that time is gone...but then when I am home I find myself getting frustrated with them cause I would like some mommy down time...I know I work to support my family but I miss them when I am gone...Ugh mothers help! How do you find common ground...my kids are 6 and 3 I dont want to miss out on the time in there life when they do want me here...im confused ):
Make your commute home your initial "down time" of the day. Play music you like or a book on tape you have been wanting to read. Use the time to wind down from work and wind up for home.
Involve your children in the evening routine. Have them help you cook dinner; by pulling items you request out of the fridge and cabinets, but stirring something you are going to bake, by setting the table, etc. This allows you to spend a little more quality time with them while getting what needs to be done, done.
If the TV is usually on when the kids are up, start to change that. Gradually wean the TV time (your children are more likely to adjust over time rather than cold turkey which will lead to fights and tears). Use the TV off time to talk and play together - or watch the show together and talk about what you are watching. Point is, find a bunch of little ways you can spend the little time you have with your children in a high quality way.
Start bed time routine a little earlier and get them to bed a few mintues earlier. Then use that time as your second down time before you dive into household chores and other "after kids are in bed" plans. Not having your down time at home right away can be frustrating, but I learned to "adjust my attitude" and just came to expect that I didn't get down time until after my toddler was in bed.
State Certified Early Childhood Special Education Teacher
New Mom as of March 2009!
You can't always be with them- you've got work to do, errands to run...and that's OK. It's natural to feel guilty over it all, but don't. You work to feed and clothe them and give them a roof over their head.
It's going to be hard, but remember that when you get home there they are! waiting for a hug only momma can give lol =]
I used to feel guilty when my baby girl was at my mom and gramma's, being babysat overnight. but then it stopped because I knew she was in great hands and having a blast with her gramma and great-me maw. Guilt comes with the package! but you're not a horrible person for leaving them in the day to work and such- and not the only parent to do so.
I think it is ok - sometimes when you spend too much time with your kids they get so connected to you that they have problems establishing contacts and make friends outside of the family. In my case, I have two stepkids - 11 and 12 yo- and when they come over for business days during school breaks I am with them since I work from home, so it is all easy.
Thank you all sooo much!!! Great feed back C: and thank you for making me feel like a normal mommy