I am 36, married and a mother to a wonderful 6 year old girl. In January my Grandmother passed and my mother, an only child, had to handle all of the arrangements on her own. She kept telling me that she was so happy that she had me with her and that she didn't think she could have done it without me (My mom is married, but my father's opinion is not taken often. I also have a brother but he lives out of town). After that I began to think that my what if my daughter has no one else to go thru something like that with? I don't want her to be alone, making decisions for us and having no one there to lean on. I know that sounds a little crazy as a reason to have a second child, but, my husband and I absolutely adore being Gracie's parents! The labor and 1st year were not enjoyable (I had some delivery issues and ended up in surgery, and just 1st time parents not knowing what to do, breastfeeding was bad!), but beyond that it has been truly fabulous! My husband has said that he would love to have another, but wants it to be my decision, my body and I'll be 37 before I would deliver. Also, we would have to renovate our house slightly (which we were somewhat planning to do down the road). And my insurance stinks and the bill would be roughly around $5 thousand. (I'm a business/accounting major, I like to weigh the costs).
I'm just looking for any guidance or input from anyone that is having the same issues, or has had a baby at 37.... I know that there could be more issues with my age.. Just don't know what to do.
I have always wanted a large family. But decided with my husband we'd start with one and go from there. Being 30 (as you were) seems "too old" for that first year - no energy like when I was in my 20s. But, my own mom passed away a few years ago and I did have my siblings to lean on. At that point I knew we'd have at least 2 children. I think having sibiling support, as long as you also want the baby, is a reason to have another.
One thing to consider is adoption. They will still be sibilings, and understand how the other feels during a personal tragedy. But you would have less to worry about regarding pregnancy complications of having a baby over age 35. I'd make an appoinment with your OB just to discuss what getting pregnant may entail. Then add that information to your pro-cons list.
State Certified Early Childhood Special Education Teacher
New Mom as of March 2009!
Thank you for responding! It's so hard to get an unbiased opinion, and I truly appreciate yours! I was 30 when my daughter was born. So, that may have contributed to some of my issues then. Talking to my OB may help with some of my other questions.